Embers
Posted in Love and other Disasters

“Thank you for gracing my life like a whirlwind, leaving me breathless and hurt, inspired and furious, affectionate and listless. You’ve taught me quite a lot and I learned them in the most humbling manner. Thank you for showing me what it means to be human, to commit mistakes, and to discover how to regain myself after everything that had happened.” --Stellar from Peyups

MONDAY morning painfully breaks as I nurse a throbbing headache. It felt worse than a hang over--one I haven’t had in years, if I ever had any throughout my tomadora days. It was a lethal combination of an insomnia attack and a migraine that left me wide awake at 3 am, in silent agony, and wondering if you were safely home.

“Bkt moko tinitiis…” three words from you that cut me open. You sent me that text message the other night, sensing that I was, once again, in goodbye mode. How perceptive of you, how observant…after less than 24 hours of not hearing from me. If only you had that much sensitivity a few months ago, back when I would have gone to hell and back for you with a smile.

Oh you always asked me to stay every time I threatened to bolt, but you never bothered to give me a reason not to leave. I have always felt unwelcome, like some uninvited guest lingering long after the party has ended. While you never really pushed me away, there wasn’t any conscious effort to draw me close. It was convenient that I be at arm’s length….never too far, just within reach.

“Kailangan ko pa ng angel...” I feel like a genie trapped inside a bottle…like part of my being is bound to fulfilling your every whim—to be there for you when you need me…as your angel, your friend, or your geisha. You thrive on everything I am capable of giving----always wanting more, wanting it all, but never wanting me.

And then it happened. You found someone. You didn’t even bother to cushion the blow. I died inside, but I smiled, I understood. Perhaps we weren’t meant to be any more than friends, so let’s just go back to what we were always best as, “pre”. I thought the pain would end there, that I would no longer spend sleepless nights trying to disentangle my emotions from its pretzel state. But it never did.

“Why let go of something that makes you feel good inside?” I’m determined to walk away from you, but the words sounded half-meant and lacked conviction. You sent successive text messages…called, I switched off my mobile. You even called my best friend, but she told you nothing although she knew everything that transpired.

I realized how big a mistake it was staying friends with you…that it was wrong for us to still hold hands at the movies, much more you taking me home and hanging out at my apartment until midnight. Not because it could lead to something more intimate, (which eventually happened anyway), for if anything, it made me more vulnerable to falling for you again.

If I ever really stopped loving you.

“I rarely say this, but thanks for sticking it out with me. Salamat at nandyan ka pa din…” Like a moth to flame, I was drawn to you. I got burned, my wings badly singed, but I stayed by your side, bespren.

In the last couple of months I tried to forget how special I felt when I was with you. How my eyes light up when you look at me and smile, how you would wink at me when we share our private little jokes. It would have been easier if I could just have all memories of you erased or blotted out a la Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

I found myself dreading Sunday afternoons, the very ones I looked forward to before…our bonding time--the shopping, the movies, the good food made all the more special by thought provoking or mildly insane conversations. We have always been honest and open, able to talk about anything… I have learned to communicate and share with you every little thing--you taught me that.

Now I have to unlearn…retrace my steps to the time before I got used to having you around, untie the strings that bound us, and willingly forget how were were for the most part "almost, but not quite".

“You cannot resist the devil…” I thought I was in control...that the flame has been extinguished save for a few dying embers. But I was too blind to see the writing on the wall, and now I burn for you again.

Is this fixation, obsession, or plain and simple fatal attraction? I knew this flame will consume me whole the night I wagered my own salvation to be with you...a night that "never happened" in your book.

Let me make my graceful exit...now...while I can still redeem myself.

Forever For You
Posted in

by: Hall and Oates

Does anyone know what love can cost?

 To take you so high then leave you lost?

Is it a mystery that runs too deep For such a simple heart?

Can anyone stop the hands of time?

And put back the loving in your eyes?

Though it's his name I hear when you are sleeping

I'll pretend it's mine

 

When they ask me how long I'm gonna love you

If the road to my heart will always stay true ,

I'll say forever, I'll say forever for you

When they ask will I stand right there beside you

and they don't see you and me the way that I do

I'll say forever, I'll say forever for you

 

A rose is a rose by any name

But a thorn will still cut you just the same

I'm losing your love I know

So sad the feeling I can tell somebody's stealing

Stealing away your heart

 

When they ask me how long I'm gonna love you

If the road to my heart will always stay true

I'll say forever I'll say forever for you

When they ask will I stand right there beside you

and they don't see you and me the way that I do I

'll say forever, I'll say forever for you

 

I don't know if I should tell you

How you live in my heart

There's no room for another

If you leave me now

My heart would not recover

 

When they ask me how long I'm gonna love you

If the road to my heart will always stay true

I'll say forever I'll say forever for you

When they ask will I stand right there beside you

and they don't see you and me the way that I do

I'll say forever, I'll say forever for you

Angel on Duty
Posted in



There isn't much time to write, but a whole lot of things to be thankful for. I would not let the week pass without expressing how blessed I am...answered prayers each and every one!

I am thankful for the new people I have met online, especially you Filbert, you give new meaning to my crusade to be an "angel" in my own little way.

I always say this to the peopel who come to me for help...you don't need to pay me back...just pay it forward. Someday, you'll meet a person who will be in the same state as you are now..be a friend, be there to listen and pray for that person.

Just one person who cares can make a difference in your life...I know, because I was once like that too.

Sigh. I can only smile and wrap my arms around myself! Hehe. I am truly happy and joyful. So much has happened over the week. All Glory and praise to God.

Its a Friday. Tomorrow I head to the convent for our regular Life in the Spirit Seminar...angel on duty? hardly. Just someone who knows what it's like to find light at the end of the tunnel.


God Bless everyone! Angel's LSS: Beautiful Disaster
24/7 Reading List: Keeping a Quiet Heart
Differential Diagnosis: touched

Calling All Angels
Posted in




I went home late last night..a gym buddy needed me, and I couldn't tell how I knew that I would be spending time with him. Instinctively I knew that he would be asking me for help so I hovered...even turning down an offer for a ride home...I knew that we would be having coffee...and that he would be asking me to pray for him.

I thank the Holy Spirit for guiding me and bestowing on me the gift of wisdom. He texted me this morning and said that it was the first time in a while that he was able to sleep well. Thanks be to God!

And then I received this email. I found it really touching and heart-warming. Feel free to copy and paste...In this day and age, we often doubt the existence of angels, but yes, I can assure you that there are indeed angels in our midst.


CALLING ALL ANGELS

I was driving home from a meeting this evening about 5, stuck in traffic onColorado Blvd., and the car started to choke and splutter and die -I barely managed to coast, cursing, into a gas station, glad only that I would not be blocking traffic and would have a somewhat warm spot to wait for the tow truck. It wouldn't even turn over.

Before I could make the call, I saw a woman walking out of the "quickie mart" building, and it looked like she slipped on some ice and fell into a gas pump, so I got out to see if she was okay.

When I got there, it looked more like she had been overcome by sobs than that she had fallen; she was a young woman who looked really haggard with dark circles under her eyes. She dropped something as I helped her up, and I picked it up to give it to her. It was a nickel.

At that moment, everything came into focus for me: the crying woman, the ancient Suburban crammed full of stuff with 3 kids in the back (1 in a car seat), and the gas pump reading $4.95.

I asked her if she was okay and if she needed help, and she just kept saying "I don't want my kids to see me crying," so we stood on the other side of the pump from her car. She said she was driving to California and that things were very hard for her right now.

So I asked, "And you were praying?" That made her back away from me a little but I assured her I was not a crazy person and said, "He heard you, and He sent me."

I took out my card and swiped it through the card reader on the pump so she could fill up her car completely, and while it was fueling, walked to the next door McDonald's and bought 2 big bags of food, some gift certificates for more, and a big cup of coffee. She gave the food to the kids in the car who attacked it like wolves, and we stood by the pump eating fries and talking a little.

She told me her name, and that she lived in Kansas City. Her boyfriend left 2 months ago and she had not been able to make ends meet. She knew she wouldn't have money to pay rent Jan 1, and finally in desperation had called her parents, with whom she had not spoken in about 5 years.

They lived in California and said she could come live with them and try to get on her feet there. So she packed up everything she owned in the car. She told the kids they were going to California for Christmas, but not that they were going to live there.

I gave her my gloves, a little hug and said a quick prayer with her for
safety on the road. As I was walking over to my car, she said,

"So, are you like an angel or something?" This definitely made me cry. I said, "Sweetie, at this time of year angels are really busy, so sometimes God uses regular people." It was so incredible to be a part of someone else's miracle.

And of course, you guessed it, when I got in my car it started right away and got me home with no problem. I'll put it in the shop tomorrow to check, but I suspect the mechanic won't find anything wrong.

Sometimes the angels fly close enough to you that you can hear the flutter of their wings...

Psalms 55:22 "Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and He shall sustain thee He shall never suffer the righteous to be moved."

"Father, I ask You to bless my children, grandchildren, friends, relatives and people online reading this right now. Show them a new revelation of your love and power.

Holy Spirit, I ask You to minister to their spirit at this very moment. Where there is pain, give them Your peace and mercy. Where there is self doubt, release a renewed confidence through Your grace,
In Jesus' precious name. Amen."

I LIKE THIS QUOTE:

When Satan is knocking at your door, simply say, "Jesus, could You please get that for me?"
Angel's LSS: The Warrior Is A Child
24/7 Reading List: Praying through life's problems
Differential Diagnosis: I am blessed

Flightless
Posted in

Achoo! I caught the flu.  

It took superhuman effort for me to drag my fat ass out of bed this morning. The fact that I was nursing a bad cold, a scratchy throat, sore muscles and an upset stomach did not do anything to improve my over all disposition.

Sigh...I miss snuggling up to my winnie the pooh body pillow.

So today I declare myself a flightless angel....too sick to take off, but nevertheless rooted to my crusade (if i can call it that) to somehow be of comfort to lonely souls out there.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

                                                    MY DEBUT

Last night was the first time I led worship, (I'm a Catholic Charismatic who attends service every Thursday), and to say that I was nervous would be the understatement of the century. I am blogging this as a testimony of the power of prayer and how humbling it is to acknowledge that even with all my communication skills, I am one who stutters and mumbles whenever asked to lead a simple prayer.

It was a task I dreaded. I tried to wiggle my way out of it, but to no avail. It was time. Two years after undergoing the life-altering Life in the Spirit Seminar and leading the life of a half-baked, undecided worker of Christ, I had to make a choice....Am I in or am I out?

What's so bloody scary about leading 40 or so people to prayer?

It would be interesting to note that I was a varsity debater in college. Speaking before a crowd never bothered me. I'm also a professional writer, so coming up with the right words for the right occassion (reminds me of a Hallmark greeting card, hehe!) wasn't a chore.

But for the life of me I cannot pray whenever other people are around. I find it too personal, too intimate. It was a dialogue between me and my God, and it seems an invasion of privacy for me to hold a microphone and broadcast my innermost thoughts and feelings to my churchmates.

I am young and one of the new comers...I guess I was afraid that the elders would not approve of the way I prayed.

I have always beleived that prayer is a personal conversation between you and God. I do not pray with so much pomp and pageantry or poetry. I talk to MY FATHER as I would a very close personal friend. Most often I pray like a child, replete with tears and sobs whenever I need to pour out my emotions...giddy and giggling whenever I'm really thankful and happy.

That's how it has been all my life. I can talk to God while crossing the street or cooking dinner. I have never been formal with HIM.

With the Spirit of the Lord, who is in my heart, I will pray like David prayed....

Two hours before Church service, I was literally trembling. My hands were clammy and I started to feel faint. And then I prayed as I have never prayed for help before....I humbled myself and acknowledged my weakness, that I cannot do it alone.

Yes, it went well. Thank God! One sister even approached me and said that my prayer was "inspiring". I did not change anything...it was me praying, my own voice, my childlike ways.

And it was then I realized that God doesn't want me to change the way I communicate with HIM in order to please other people. What I needed was to share my faith with those around me...because too often we forget to call Him "FATHER" when what He longs for is for all of us to look up to him as the source of all our joys and the great provider.

I feel truly blessed. It was a simple miracle, but a miracle nonetheless. And now I am confident to take the next step.

I'm going to counselling pretty soon. It's therapy minus the couch and the psycho babble from a high-paid shrink. But it would mean coming face to face with the ghosts of my past; the skeletons that I have buried so deep in my mind's catacombs---they must all be exhumed.

I have problems, I have issues. Some of them I am too ashamed to admit to even my closest friends...I have an eating disorder and trauma in relationships, to name a few. Oh, I've been bad! But God has given me a new lease in life.

Sigh...I guess that's all for today.

To Joey, Filbert, Miel, Chelly, Reghie, Mavic, Beng, Roumel and Mark...may God grant you all that you ask for in faith. Remember that Jesus died on the cross not for the righteous, but for sinners like you and me. Do not be ashamed to come to HIM with your petitions and requests. HE has been waiting for you to talk to Him.

Kapatid, miss ka na ni Lord!

If you need an angel , feel free to leave a comment or tag me...prayer is free and it's the best gift we can give to others because it is born out of love.

God Bless everyone!

Angel's LSS: Forever For You
24/7 Reading List: Praying Through Life's Problems
Silverscreen Pick: My monitor
Differential Diagnosis: flightless angel

I still love like I've never been hurt...
Posted in Love and other Disasters



"To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving; to rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy; to return home at eventide with gratitude; And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips. Love gives not but itself and takes naught but from itself. Love possesses not nor would it be possessed; for love is sufficient unto love."--Kahlil Gibran---

Really, Who Knows?
Posted in Angel 24/7

"I know it's a cornball thing, but love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. If  you don't start with that, what are you going to end up with? I say fall head over heels. Find someone you love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back. And how do you find him? Forget your head and listen to your heart. Run the risk. Because the truth is, there is no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love --well, you haven't lived a life at all. You have to try. Because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived. Stay open. Who knows? Lightning could strike." --Anthony Hopkins: Meet Joe Black

Eternal Sunshine
Posted in Love and other Disasters

"How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd.."
                                                 --Alexander Pope

Today, I learned the meaning of selfishness. It's all bout me...what I want, what I feel, what I need. It's something I have got to do for myself and myself alone...just so I can find myself again.

Forgive me, I said I will never leave...but I've just become Clementine in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind...I wish it were that simple...but healing is a far more complicated process than I thought...and I have to do it right now.

I'm sad, I'm lonely and I'm already missing you...Just last night you said, you guess it's true that there are no right decisions in life. I couldn't agree with more...decisions as painful as these seem wrong because it hurts so much. But I know it's right.

I have caused so much trouble already. I have complicated what should have been a simple friendship. And for the sheer number of times I have announced my walking out on you, I was never able to do it.

I will always be your angel and your best friend.

I'm watching the bridges burn now and tears are flowing from my eyes. This time, I will let the embers die....completely.

I hope to see you soon, when I am whole, and I have forgotten that I loved you.

Angel's LSS: The Art of Letting Go
24/7 Reading List: Keeping A Quiet Heart
Differential Diagnosis: silent lucidity

Letting Go
Posted in

10.52 pm

online at a cybercafe in Alabang...crying without tears, hurting without feeling anything. one of life's greatest ironies: freedom is stifling.

Letting Go by: Sozzi

Don't call me
Don't write
Don't show up in the middle of the night
You know that
We needed
Some time and space to breathe in.

I still recall the words you said to me
It's what you did not said that sets me free

Now how can I
Find peace of mind
When you keep coming back again.
It's not okay
For you to play
This game of seesaw with my head.

Now it hurts to much
And it hits to hard
And I won't play this part.

Don't call me
Don't write
Don't show up in the middle of the night
You know that
We needed
Some time and space to breathe in

So now I've said the things I want to say
Sometimes it's better letting go this way

I'll always know
Down in my soul
We really had so far to go
I've given all I have to give,
And now it's time for me to live

And I won't look back
And I won't regret
Though it hurts like hell
Someday i will forget

Don't call me
Don't write
Don't show up in the middle of the night
You know that
We needed
Some time and space to breathe in
Don't call me
Don't write
Don't show up in the middle of the night
Don't say that, you've been thinking
Cause I know it's just the drink in you.

It's funny how we seem to end up here
I never thought i'd see this all disappear

Don't call me
Don't write
Don't show up in the middle of the night
You know that
We needed
Some time and space to breathe in

This is letting go
This is letting go
This is letting go
This is letting go

This is...

Don't call me
Don't write
Don't show up in the middle of the night
You know that
We needed
Some time and space to breathe in
Don't call me
Don't write
Don't show up in the middle of the night
Don't say that, you've been thinking
Cause I know it's just the drink in you

Steep
Posted in

by: Lauren Christy

Softly, gently, I will let you down
Cause I don't love you in the same way now
I can hold you but not with lover's arms
Cause you are more of a brother to me now
And I can lie next to you, but I can't lie to you

So walk into the sun and watch me
Run into the rain,
For you the future's easy, so don't weep, for me it's getting
Steep

I loved you for exactly who you are,
And I'd say you've come the nearest yet by far,

And I can lie next tou you, but I can't lie to you

So walk into the sun and watch me
Run into the rain,
For you the future's easy, so don't weep, for me it's getting

Steeper and in the dark that's where I want to be
Deeper, I'm going somewhere you won't want to see...

So walk into the sun and watch me
Run into the rain,
For you the future's easy, so don't weep
Yes I will watch you,
Walk into the sun and watch me
Run into the rain drops
For you the future's easy, so don't weep
For me it's getting
Steep.

Angel's LSS: Buttercup
24/7 Reading List: Tuesdays with Morrie
Differential Diagnosis: ambivalent

Blood Letting
Posted in

Six vials of blood samples extracted in a span of two and a half hours. No wonder I'm feeling lightheaded.

I underwent routine tests for my thyroid problem (nodular goiter) this morning, and it left me pretty much wasted the entire day. I was able to go to the grocery though and stock my fridge with veggies and bread. (Which reminds me, I forgot to make pesto! Nyikes!)

Quite an uneventful sunday, but I enjoyed it though. Apart from the blood letting and ingestion of 75grams of glucose which will determine if I am finally out of the diabetic range (I've had it for four years already), and cooking chili, I had a restful and peaceful night.

I expected to be by my lonesome this weekend, but again, a silent prayer has been heard. Old buddies popped online, and I had a very grand old time exchanging updates with them. Great to have touched based with Mikey, Ayen and Krishna, and my dear baby brother Pongkiks and my best friend of 14 years, Vicky,...its been a while since we last talked.

Okay, now I feel guilty for abandoning them...I promise to catch up with you guys more!I have time...hehehe

Sigh. God is soo good.

I always say that the cure for loneliness is to share yourself with another person. HE always gives me the opportunity to share some words of comfort or advice, or even a wee bit of my time to someone in need. I not only make new friends, or fortify the bonds of existing ones, but also experience what it is truly like to live and be alive.

Thanks Joey...you don't have to worry bout returning the favor. I do not keep a list...you do not owe me. I'm just glad you're here for me now...and if the time comes that you should leave my life too...I will let you go with a smile. That's what friendship is about, right?

Once again, I thank the Lord for the blessings and the challenges of the week. For the answered prayers, the small miracles, and for unceasingly filling my heart with hope.

Yes, there is still a considerable amount of pain..of aching for someone who is no longer there. But I am keeping the faith that everything will fall into place...soon. 

To God be the glory!

P.S. I am reading Tuesdays with Morrie...it moved me to sending a text message to my mentor and dear friend Cynthia Rivera (Contemporary Philippine Lit, and Expository Writing)...whom I haven't seen in almost a year, I think. She was pleased to hear from me. I'm seeing her this Sunday....I guess ours have always been a habit of dissecting life's ironies over coffee and dessert...she truly is one of my angels.. God bless you maam cynthia!

Angel's LSS: Steep by Nina
24/7 Reading List: Tuesdays with Morrie
Differential Diagnosis: Anemic

Love Postulates
Posted in Love and other Disasters

**got this from my best friend's blog...I kinda feel it's something I should repost. It was said to be written by Albert Einstein, (and I think he may really have been the author), which goes to show that he wasn't just a whiz in numbers, but also in matters of the heart...So if e=mc2, what's the formula for love?

Sometimes in our relentless effort to find the person we love. We fail to recognize and appreciate the people who love us. We miss out on so many beautiful things and simply because we allow ourselves to be enslaved by our own selfish concerns. Go for the man of deeds and not for the man of words, for you will find the rewarding happiness not with man you love but the man who loves you more.

Angel's LSS: Head Over Feet by Alanis
24/7 Reading List: Fufu Slavegirl's blog
Differential Diagnosis: Curious and Inquisitive

Clinging to every last shred of hope, keeping the faith...
Posted in



Angel's LSS: The Old Rugged Cross
24/7 Reading List: The Bible
Differential Diagnosis: Prayerful

God's Sense of Humor
Posted in



Angel's LSS: Just My Imagination
24/7 Reading List: The Spirit Controlled Woman
Differential Diagnosis: thankful

Moving On
Posted in Love and other Disasters

**Borrowed from a fellow blogger. I felt like posting it in my page. Soo can relate.

How do you tell your heart that it's not supposed to feel for a certain someone anymore? How do you go about finding someone new, when your heart is calling you a traitor the second you think about it? Closure can be a difficult thing for many people to find. It's often as obscure as finding love itself. And, if you truly felt that the person who has departed was THE one, it can make your task of finding closure that more difficult. Like many things worth finding though, it may be difficult, but it's not impossible. When you feel like you'll never move on, or your heart will never love again, try the following ideas to help you find the closure you need and, quite frankly, deserve.

Ceremonial Goodbye

Often closure is difficult to find because a person wasn't given a proper chance to say goodbye or have a say in the ending of the relationship. It is usually much easier for the person breaking up to move on because they came to terms with the decision before even letting you know about it.

To give yourself this same opportunity, collect everything that reminds you of your past love together. Put it in a box. At a time where you can have a few hours of privacy, light a candle and go through the items in the box. As you're lighting the candle, remind yourself that the flame in this relationship has gone out. Know that new flames may come and go, but at one point, a flame so large will come that it will extinguish all past flames.

When you're going through the box of items, remember this is a time to acknowledge the past, but keep in mind that it is the past. When you are comfortable, put everything back in the bo x and blow out your candle. Say a goodbye to your past love and get rid of the box. Give it to a friend, if you want to keep certain mementos for later on.

Or, bury it or throw it out somewhere outside of your home.

Tying Up Loose Ends

Was their something you wanted to tell your past love? Are there feelings or words trapped inside of you that you just need to get out? The best way to let these emotions free is by writing them down. Get out a pen and a paper and write a letter to your past love telling them everything you want them to know. Don't leave out anything. When you are done, fold it up and keep it in a special place. Do NOT give it to them. This is for your own personal, emotional release. You can also choose to burn the letter or rip it up as a ceremonial closure.

Looking Towards The Future

If your heart is stuck in the past, its future can't be looking too bright. Instead of focusing on what you've lost, try to change your mental attitude to what you can have. Get a piece of paper and a pen and write down a list of things you can have now that you are single. Then write a list of things you want a future partner to have that your previous partner didn't have. Whenever you're feeling a loss about your past love, look over this list again to help redirect your thoughts.

Out of Sight, Out of Mind

It is next to impossible to get over someone if you're constantly being reminded of them. If you have mementos of your relationship around your home, pack them up and get them out of sight.

If you see your past love frequently at certain places, try to avoid them for a while.

Similar to the above idea, steer your time and attention to things that help you create a happy life without your past love. Get involved in new groups or activities. Do things you have always wanted to that will keep your mind busy and away from what you're missing.

Don't give in to the temptation to let the past be the center of your focus.

The biggest element to finding closure is finding your hope. Hope for the future. Hope for finding someone new who is an even better match than you could have dreamed for. Hope for your own happily, ever after.

Once you've lost hope, you've given into the fact that destiny controls you, and not the other way around.

Angel's LSS: Someday We'll Know
24/7 Reading List: El Gordo Group Play Renewal Letter
Differential Diagnosis: busog, hehehe!

Praying for Strength
Posted in Love and other Disasters

**For Cigarette Girl, Joey, and My GHOST. I dreamt of you last night holding me in a tight embrace. Call it stupidity, or a subconcious cry of "I Miss You",  but I could still feel your warmth hours after. I just hope you're reading this...it's not easy leaving you.

I shall not yield although he storms my castle.
I shall not kiss him back although I tear
My heart. I shall note let sound of his pestle
Pounding at my soul break through the mask I wear,
Betray the frigid treachery I dare.
I shall not let his seeking hands caress me.
He shall not touch this jet-black hair that is mine.
He shall not see the prayer of eyes misty
With hunger, beggared yet unpleading, nor find
The initiated breasts' pubescent line.
The moon will set, but he and I will never
Know each other. Chained to a vow once made,
In numb despair I shall deny him answer
And turn away: virtuous, pure and . . . dead.

``  Sonnet LII, Heart of Clay by Nina Estrada Puyat``

Angel's LSS: Steep
24/7 Reading List: Heart of Clay
Silverscreen Pick: Closer
Differential Diagnosis: Missing my GHOST

Mine's Half-Full
Posted in

Two boys were eating some grapes. One of them remarked, "Aren’t they sweet!" "I guess so," the other replied, "but they’re full of seeds." Wandering into a garden, the first boy exclaimed, "Look at those big, beautiful red roses!" The other commented, "They’re full of thorns!"

It was a warm day, so they stopped at the store for a soft drink. After several swallows, the second youngster complained, "My bottle’s half-empty already." The first quickly responded. "Mine’s still half-full!"

Many people are like the negative-thinking boy in this story. They always look at life through dark glasses. Like the children of Israel in today’s Scripture, they complain and grumble when they should be praising the Lord for His gracious provision. But thank God, not everyone is like that. There are people who concentrate on the bright side and are radiant, happy, and grateful. They are realistic about the somber side of life, but they don’t pout and fret.

You can overcome negative thinking. No matter who you are or what your circumstances, there’s always much to be grateful for. Think about God’s love for you. Praise Him for His providential care. Then, instead of complaining about thorns, you’ll be thankful for the roses.

Instead of grumbling because you don’t get what you want, be thankful you don’t get what you deserve.

                                                 

My Church community sponsored a recollection in Tagaytay over the weekend. Fresh air, cool breeze and a renewed spirit...just what I needed! Somehow it lifed the emotional burden I was carrying and made it seem so trivial compared to the problems other people are confronted with.

It's all about a boy...sus, para yun lang?! I could almost hear one friend exclaim. But it's really not that easy. It makes me think of Constantine all over again. Being with him is hazardous to my soul, and I cannot bear the thought of having to drag him into hell with me. Buti sana kung ako lang.

This is the longest we've ever been apart in the last six months...ONE WEEK...seven agonizing days of not seeing him smile at me, and missing his daily "harassments", chiding me about my weight or my palo-palo arms...haha! I'm beginning to miss the cruelty of those jokes, and the dominating and commanding person who delivers them.

We had the best of times, we had the worst of times. He brought out both the angel and the bitch in me...and now I miss him.

Kung pwede ko lang hingin na magparamdam ka naman, (coz part of me is wishing that he still visits this page) ginawa ko na...Kaya lang natatakot ako, kasi malakas akong magdasal...baka ibigay sa'kin ni Lord, mahilo na naman ako!

I'm finding strength in prayers and courage in solitude. I guess the thought of doing the right thing consoles me when I feel the ache of being alone. At this point I do not want to dwell on what was, on what we had, and what we lost. Sabi nga niya it was our differences that made us click noon. Baka talagang ibig sabihin tapos na kami, kahit as besprens di na pwedeng dayain.

Nararamdaman ko naman na pinakawalan na niya ako...that I am no longer emotionally bound to him...pero ako yung nasasaktan at nalulungkot na ni-let go na niya ako..kaya na nya akong bitiwan ngayon, natitiis na niyang wala ako sa buhay niya...**sniff sniff, hikbi hikbi**

Weird noh? 

I will be holding on...to my faith, at wala nang iba pa. I leave it all to God because HE knows what HE is doing, eventhough half the time I do not...

Be still and know that I am GOD. 

Angel's LSS: Tattoed on my Mind
24/7 Reading List: The Bible
Silverscreen Pick: Closer
Differential Diagnosis: optimistic

Paper chase
Posted in Love and other Disasters

**ninakaw ko from soulfly's page

Why can't you see me like i see you?"
-Dragonfly, Sponge Cola


what is love, dear rob?
she plays paper chases
and i come running after her

i tried to erase my heart
like sitting on my palm
waiting to get numb
i'm groping in the dark

i hope she never sees me
never like this
coz she'll never believe
that i love her abjectly
and she's the raison d'etre
why i write..

Angel's LSS: I Don't Want To Be Your Friend
Differential Diagnosis: touched

By Heart
Posted in

 

**Jim Brickman and Laura Creamer

Hold me close, baby please
Tell me anything but that you're gonna leave
As I kiss this fallen tear
I promise you I will be here

Until the stars fall from the sky
Until I find the reason why
And darling as the years go by
Until there's no tears left to cry
'Til the angels close my eyes
And even if we're worlds apart
I'll find my way back to you...
By heart

When you go, I'll stop the clock
I won't ever let this moment stop
Time is stealing you from me
But it can never take this memory

Until the stars fall from the sky
Until I find the reason why
And darling as the years go by
Until there's no tears left to cry
'Til the angels close my eyes
And even if we're worlds apart
I'll find my way back to you...
By heart.

Until the stars fall from the sky
Until I find the reason why
And darling as the years go by
Until there's no tears left to cry
'Til the angels close my eyes
And even if we're worlds apart
I'll find my way back to you...
By heart.

Cyclic Misery
Posted in Love and other Disasters

by: Ysabel M. Canlas

Days turn into nights
Weeks into months
Months into years
And the years will probably turn into a lifetime
Yet, each morning that I wake up to,
I find my insides still blaming myself
Yes, myself --- for losing you.

Blatantly,
none of what happened was my fault
and maybe it wasn't yours either
Maybe life was just as cruel
as much as it could be beautiful
The irony sweeps over me

And more over,
I couldn't blame the girl you left me for
Why should I?
It would only lead me nowhere,
while she'd be there - somewhere and wherever - you are
She might even mock or pity me
For my failure, my bitterness, my demise.

My heart has a way of telling my mind what I need
And all I could hear through this muddled path
is its agony of shouting for your name
It's still your name.
Do you even take time to hear it?
You were my world --- that very world which shattered my once peaceful world.

And now I feel like crawling out of my skin
Weeping out, shedding off blood
The fire is dying now, will there still be tomorrow?
You were the fulfillment of my every dream and desire
And now that you're gone
I know I'd be totally out of line
If I said ---
I MISS YOU.

Free me
Release me from your ball and chain
I don't want to see you again

BUT yes, I still do.
Truthfully, I still do.

So sue me.

Angel's LSS: You'll Be Safe Here
24/7 Reading List: The Bible
Differential Diagnosis: blessed

Small Miracles
Posted in

                                                        The Parable of the Giver

There is a legend of a man who was lost in the desert, dying of thirst. He stumbled on until he came to an abandoned house. Outside the dilapidated, windowless, weather-beaten, deserted shack was a pump. He staggered forward and began pumping furiously but no water came out. Then he noticed a small jug with a cork at the top and a note written on the side: "You have to prime the pump with water, my friend. P. S. And fill the jug again before you leave." He pulled out the cork and saw that the jug was full of water. Should he pour it down the pump? What if it didn`t work? All of the water would be gone. If he drank the water from the jug, he could be sure he would not die of thirst. But to pour it down the rusty pump on the flimsy instruction written on the outside of the jug?

Something told him to follow the advice and choose the risky decision. He proceeded to pour the whole jug of water down the rusty old pump and furiously pumped up and down. Sure enough, the water gushed out! He had all he needed to drink.

He filled the jug again, corked it, and added his own words beneath the instructions on the jug: "Believe me, it really works. You have to give it all away before you can get anything back."  
                                                 
Hay salamat talaga kay Lord!  I've been blessed with so many small miracles.

ONE...I braved through three hours of intense work out at the gym last night. Matagal ko nang hindi ginagawa ang ganung klaseng pagpapakamatay!   It reached a point that I thought my lungs would explode or my heart would give out...kasi naman, ilang buwan na akong tinatamad mag work out, nagsawa na yata ako sa Fitness First or talagang nawalan nang gana sa gym at nagpabaya! 

Anyway, last night proved to be a dear pay back. It made me realize how terribly out of shape I was (hey, I am round and round is a shape! hehe) and how badly I need to get back to my old MARATHON routine (sorry Rency, one hour work outs don't work for me!).  Imagine, second track pa lang sa cosmic eh hinihingal na ako!  Yeah, I was really gasping for air in less than 10 minutes..ako ba ito? samantalang dati, normal for me to take four straight classes a day. Sigh..I prayed for physical strength while cycling, thankfully I survived and even took yoga class afterwards to stretch and release the muscle tension.

TWO...No bingeing when Stephie got home. It was probably because I was so tired that I had to force myself to drink a glass of milk before going to bed. I had no hunger pangs at all!

THREE..Woke up bright and early (5.30 am) and not the least bit sluggish or woozy... I smiled upon opening my eyes and prayed to set the day right.

FOUR...Heard mass before work..(I could almost hear a chorus of hallelujiahs! from my Churchmates), sana I can keep it up even after Easter. I know I'll be a better "worker" if I hear God's words everyday and steep myself in prayer and outreach services.

May sidebar pa ito...naubusan ako ng baryang pamasahe. I had coins in my purse and a P20 bill which I gave during the offeratory. I was planning to take the jeep na lang to the office since it was so near already, pero walang dumadaan. So I decided na mag tricycle na lang at magpabarya na lang kami nung P200 ko. Wala daw shang barya pero isinakay nya pa rin ako. To cut the long story short, the man offered to take whatever coins I had as payment, at hindi sha galit or masungit ha! He reassured me that it was okay ( I was actually P4 short, kakahiya noh?)...

FIVE...Arrived at the office 30 minutes early. My boss was sooo happy! Hehe. This also means I can lleave at 4.30 and try to catch pump class at the gym today. It's Tuesday, marathon day...hay Lord, give me strength po!

SIX...Back to oatmeal for breakfast. I kicked the oatmeal option out of my system after the weight-management program ended. I started eating like a slob again and worse, binged at night. Really bad. So today, seeing the white flakes on my spoon gave me some sort of reassurance that I was setting my meal preferences on the right track again.

SEVEN...Answered prayer... Yesterday's anxiety attacks prompted me to post these lines...Kung pwede ko lang hingin na magparamdam ka naman, (coz part of me is wishing that he still visits this page) ginawa ko na...Kaya lang natatakot ako, kasi malakas akong magdasal...baka ibigay sa'kin ni Lord, mahilo na naman ako!  No, I didn't run into him. I just opened my inbox this morning and his name practically jumped off the screen... THANK YOU, it was an innocent forwarded email, and I don't know whether he even knows he sent it (he could have sent it to everyone in his address book and I just happened to be in it), but I appreciate it kasi it came at a time when I needed it the most. It was comforting...pagpaparamdam lang talaga, nothing more.

I know these little things will be considered by many as trivial and insignificant. But Einstein once said that we have two options, to treat everything in life as a miracle, or to live believing that nothing is. I choose to believe in miracles and in the power of prayer. 

In the darkest point of my life, faith was the only thing that sustained me...and here I am now. Hay, Praise God and His Amazing Grace!

Differential Diagnosis: I am So Blessed

Angel24/7
Posted

"If there is any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow human being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again."  [img:573441]     

Healing
Posted in

**I heard this song on my way home to Bulacan last Thursday and it pretty much says what's on my mind right now.  Thank You Lord .

By: Deniece Williams

Now that we have gotten through
One more fall
I can just admit I've got it all
Cause I do
Cause I've got you
We've crossed these battle lines too many times
It passes throught the heart
But it never leaves a mark

Cause Your love just keeps on healing me
No matter how I bruise
If I just trust You
Your love just keeps on healing me
One more clue
One more chance that wasnt there before
In your arms
no pain can harm the way im feeling
Lord I know that Your love is healing

I've kicked around those lines in my head
But I've never listened to the words that You said
See where its lead
Well I know I have it now
Cause You showed me how
And all I had to do
Was just to keep my eyes on You

Cause Your love just keeps on healing me
No matter how I bruise
If I just trust You
Your love just keeps on healing me
One more clue
One more chance that wasnt there before
In your arms
no pain can harm the way im feeling
Lord I know that Your love is healing

(break)

Cause Your love just keeps on healing me
No matter how I bruise
If I just trust You
Your love just keeps on healing me
One more clue
One more chance that wasnt there before
In your arms
no pain can harm the way im feeling

Lord I know that Your love is healing

Slow Down
Posted in



THE BRICK

      A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door! He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car shouting, "What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?"   The young boy was apologetic. "Please, mister...please, I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do," He pleaded. "I threw the brick because no one else would stop..." With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. "It's my brother, "he said. "He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up."Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me." Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay.

"Thank you and may God bless you," the grateful child told the stranger. Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy! push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home.  It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message: "Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!"

God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us. It's our choice to listen or not.  God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow,sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way. Read this line very slowly and let it sink in... If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

Had another  bad scare over the weekend. One I will NEVER forget for the rest of my life. However, I now realize its all part of the "pruning" process. It left me tossing and turning in bed, unable to really sleep well in the last couple of nights. But I prayed and asked humbly for God's will to be done. I  got my answer mid-morning today.  Relieved? Not really, but left very very humbled and in awe of  how things always fal into place. Let's just say the experience has finally exorcised the ghost I had been so willing to let haunt me. Nauntog at nalaglaga ang helmet ko, natauhan na finally at namulat sa katotohanan!

Yeah, I hear a chorus of allelujiahs from my friends. but that was a really, really close call.

Angel's LSS: Until I get over you
24/7 Reading List: The Book of Job
Differential Diagnosis: thankful

The Bird Cage
Posted in

There once was a man named George Thomas, pastor in a small New England town. One Easter Sunday morning he came to the Church carrying a rusty, bent, old bird cage, and set it by the pulpit. Eyebrows were raised and, as if in response, Pastor Thomas began to speak..."I was walking through town yesterday when I saw a young boy coming toward me swinging this bird cage. On the bottom of the cage were three little wild birds, shivering with cold and fright. I stopped the lad and asked, "What you got there, son?" "Just some old birds," came the reply.

"What are you gonna do with them?" I asked. "Take 'em home and have fun with 'em," he answered. "I'm gonna tease 'em and pull out their feathers to make 'em fight. I'm gonna have a real good time." "But you'll get tired of those birds sooner or later. What will you do with them?” "Oh, I got some cats," said the little boy. "They like birds. I'll take 'em to them."

The pastor was silent for a moment. "How much do you want for those birds, son?""Huh?? !!! Why, you don't want them birds, mister. They're just plain old field birds. They don't sing. They ain't even pretty!"

"How much?" the pastor asked again. The boy sized up the pastor as if he were crazy and said, "$10?" The pastor reached in his pocket and took out a ten dollar bill. He placed it in the boy's hand. In a flash, the boy was gone. The pastor picked up the cage and gently carried it to the end of the alley where there was a tree and a grassy spot Setting the cage down, he opened the door, and by softly tapping the bars persuaded the birds out, setting them free.

Well, that explained the empty bird cage on the pulpit, and then the pastor began to tell this story.

One day Satan and Jesus were having a conversation. Satan had just come from the Garden of Eden, and he was gloating and boasting. "Yes, sir, I just caught the world full of people down there. Set me a trap, used bait I knew they couldn't resist. Got 'em all!" "What are you going to do with them?" Jesus asked. Satan replied, "Oh, I'm gonna have fun! I'm gonna teach them how to marry and divorce each other, how to hate and abuse each other, how to drink and smoke and curse. I'm gonna teach them how to invent guns and bombs and kill each other. I'm really gonna have fun!"

"And what will you do when you get done with them?" Jesus asked. "Oh, I'll kill 'em," Satan glared proudly. "How much do you want for them?" Jesus asked. "Oh, you don't want those people. They ain't no good. Why, you'll take them and they'll just hate you. They'll spit on you, curse you and kill you. You don't want those people!!" "How much?" He asked again. Satan looked at Jesus and sneered, "All your blood, tears and your life."

Jesus said, "DONE!" Then He paid the price.

The pastor picked up the cage he opened the door and he walked from the pulpit.

Bridges
Posted in

by: Sergio Mendes

I have crossed a thousand bridges
In my search for something real
There were great suspension bridges
Made of spiderwebs of steel

There were tiny wooden trestles
And there were bridges made of stone
I have always been a stranger
And I've always been alone

There's a bridge to tomorrow
There's a bridge from the past
There's a bridge made of sorrow
That I pray would not last

There's a bridge made of colors
In the sky high above
And I'm certain there must be
Bridges made out of love

I can see him in a distance
On the rivers of the shore
And his hands reach out in longing
As my own have done before

And I call across to tell him
Where I believe the bridge must lie
And I'll find it, yes I'll find it
If I search until I die

When the bridge is between us
We'll have nothing to fear
We will run through the sunlight
And you'll meet me halfway

There's a bridge made of colors
In the sky high above
And I'm certain there must be
Bridges made out of love

La, la, la...

**This one of the songs I've missed listening to. I dunno, I cannot even describe my current emotional state. But I am happy and at peace. I feel so much better after well....forgiving. I hated this person for a grand total of 12 hours...really hated and loathed him for the vile and revolting attitude he exhibited towards me in the last couple of days while I was in crisis. Sigh. Sigh. Sigh. However I am not one to throw out wisdom. It has often been said, if today you hear HIS voice, harden not your hearts. You see, one of the first things I do in the morning is read the daily bread. It is one of my sources of inspiration and strength. The Bible readings, and even the forwarded emails I received today kept a hammering at this point: I should act like a Christian.

"This is when Christians have a unique opportunity. By knowing the Father’s will, by heeding the Son’s example, and by relying on the Spirit’s help, we can endure bad treatment and show others a better way. In chain reactions of frustrations and anger, we can be where it all ends." When you’re wronged, don’t do what comes naturally; do what comes supernaturally. Wow. As if naman madali. People close to me can stand witness to my legendary patience. Kapag nasagad mo pa yan, kakaiba ka na. Masakit lang talaga kasi lahat na ng kagandahang asal at kabaitan ipinakita at ginawa mo, nakuha ka pang gaguhin. Haay. Naranasan kong umiyak sa galit kagabi, anger, pure and raw. I hated him. How I hated him.

"Christians are like sponges. As life squeezes us, different things come out, Anger from one, a need for Revenge from another; Tears from one, Remorse from yet another;Greed, Untruth, Lust;~~~~~ FINALLY, Some saints pour forth the Love of Christ. Just like the Sponge, we can only squeeze out what is put in. Stay in the God's Word daily and be in continuous prayer,So that when Life puts the squeeze on us, ~~~and it WILL...Jesus and Jesus ALONE will shine forth from us!"

Aray!  Ang hirap pala talagang maging tagasunod ni Kristo. Parang minsan gusto ko nang sabihing "I quit!" Tao lang po ako. Lagi ko na lang ba palalampasin mga pagkakataong ganito? Bka naman minsan dapat magalit din ako?! But you know, It did sink in after a couple of hours...and I started feeling better, lighter, and free after forgiving him. Cliche? Maybe so. But it worked for me. I started to smile and felt like a huge burden was lifted off my shoulders. Yup, I felt relieved and found peace. Thank God.  "Forgiveness is the fragrance that flowers give out when they are trampled upon."

Angel's LSS: In My Life
Differential Diagnosis: Relieved

Huling Araw
Posted in Love and other Disasters



*from Pey ups...para lang malinaw..hindi po ako ang
nagsulat nito...


Kung tatanungin ako ng Diyos kung gaano kita
minahal, ang isasagot ko, 10 beses na higit pa sa
nararapat. Minahal kita hindi dahil pakiramdam ko lang
tama, pero dahil ginusto ko yung naramdaman ko at
walang kung ano pa man.
Minsan mo na akong tinanong kung pinagsisisihan
kong nakilala kita. Sinabi ko hindi. Ngayon na nga
siguro ang araw na kinatatakutan ko. Dahil kapag
tinanong mo ulit sa akin yan, alam kong oo na ang
isasagot ko. Sa lahat kasi ng nangyari sa buhay
ko, ikaw lang ang gusto kong burahin. Wala ng iba.

Alam kong tama na tong ginagawa ko ngayon.
Tama ng mawala ka sa buhay ko. Dahil alam kong
wala ng pag-asa yang sinasabi mong
pagkakaibigan natin. Tanga lang ako na minsan
kong inisip na yun ang pinanghahawakan ko pero
hindi pala. Dahil pinili mo pa rin akong saktan kahit
alam mong dapat naging isa kang kaibigan.

Nung mga panahong ikaw at ikaw lang ang
kailangan ko, hindi man lang kita mahanap. At
kahit alam kong alam mo yon, pinili mong tiisin
ako. Ngayon hindi na ko umaasang nandyan ka
pa, dahil simula palang nang-iwan ka na.

Itinapon ko na rin ang lahat ng kasinungalingang
sinabi mo na ang masakit ay pinaniwalaan ko.
Nang sinabi mong importante ako sa yo at hindi
mo kayang wala ako, kagaguhan lang yon. Siguro
napilitan ka lang sabihin yon, o di kaya, sinadya
mo para paasahin ako.Ngayon, lahat ng binitawan
mong salita, wala ng halaga. Simple lang ang
rason: dahil wala ka ring kwenta.

Wala na rin akong pakialam kung nagustuhan mo
man ako o hindi. Ang importante, nagbigay ako ng
buong buo at ni minsan ay hindi humingi ng kahit
anong kapalit. Kahit papano, naturuan mo akong
maging matatag. Natuto na rin akong tumigil sa
paghahabol at pag-iyak sa taong manhid na tulad
mo.

Siguro nga nasira mo na ang lahat sa akin. Ang
paninindigan ko, tapang at paniniwala ko, pati ang
katauhan ko, pero kaya kong ibangon ang sarili ko
at mabuhay ng wala ka. Ako pa rin to. Oras at
araw lang ang nagbago.

Ngayon na ang huling beses na sasabihin ko ito sa
yo. Ngayon na ang huling pagkakataon na iisipin
kita. Lahat ng bagay na dumaan, burado na. Pati
buhay ko, bago na. Ngayon na ang huling oras na
mamahalin kita. Ngayon na ang tamang oras para
sa lahat, para malaman mo kung gaano mo ako
sinaktan. Tapos na yon lahat ngayon. Ito na ang
huling araw ng paghihirap...Tama na, tapos na.
Pero sa huling araw na ito, isa lang ang sigurado
ako.

Hindi ito ang huling araw na sinabi ko lahat to.
Angel's LSS: Bridges
Differential Diagnosis: I'm Breaking Away

Coffee and Mayonnaise: One of Life's Great Lessons
Posted in

**This goes out to all my friends, here and abroad, in the real and virtual realms. I wouldn't be who I am now without your love and support. Just wanted you all to know. To Airan, Mwahhhhh for forwarding this to me, tagal ko nang hinahanap to!

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar ... and the coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in
front of him.  When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very
large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.
He then asked the students if the jar was full..  They agreed that it
was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into
the jar. He shook the jar lightly.  The pebbles rolled into the open
areas between the golf balls.  He then asked the students again if the
jar was full.  They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else.  He asked once more if
the jar was full.  The students responded with a unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and
poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty
space between the sand.  The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, " I want you to
recognize that this jar represents your life.  The golf balls are the
important things-God, family, your children, your health, your friends,
and your favorite passions/things that if everything else was lost And
only they remained, your life would still be full.  The pebbles are the
other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.  The
sand is everything else - the small stuff.

"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no
room for the pebbles or the golf balls.  The same goes for life.  If you
spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have
room for the things that are important.  Pay attention to the things
that are critical to your happiness..  Play with your children. Take
time to get medical checkups.  Take your wife/husband/kids out to
dinner. 

Maybe even play another 18.  There's always time to clean the house and fix the disposal.  Take care of the golf balls first, the things that
really matter.  Set your priorities.  The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee
represented. The professor smiled.  "I'm glad you asked.  It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

 

Angel's LSS: Secret Garden
24/7 Reading List: Gospel Reflections
Differential Diagnosis: I'm a Big Girl Now, heheh