by: The Cranberries

If you, if you could return
Don’t let it burn, don’t let it fade
I’m sure I’m not being rude
But it’s just your attitude
It’s tearing me apart
It’s ruining everything
And I swore, I swore I would be true
And honey so did you
So why were you holding her hand
Is that the way we stand
Were you lying all the time
Was it just a game to you?

But I’m in so deep
You know I’m such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to, do you have to
Do you have to let it linger

Oh, I thought the world of you
I thought nothing could go wrong
But I was wrong
I was wrong
If you, if you could get by
Trying not to lie
Things wouldn’t be so confused
And I wouldn’t feel so used
But you always really knew
I just wanna be with you

And I’m in so deep
You know I’m such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to. do you have to
Do you have to let it linger

And I’m in so deep
You know I’m such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to, do you have to
Do you have to let it linger

You know I’m such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to, do you have to
Do you have to let it linger

                                                   ***

One of the songs I fell in love with only pretty recently.Yes, Cigarette Girl, we're on board the same train...hahaha! But definitely, sister, we have got to get a grip on things! *hugs* this one's for ya.

When you look at the life Jesus lived…You don’t find Jesus distracted.You don’t find Jesus rushed.You don’t find Jesus worried.You don’t find Jesus having to do it all.You don’t find Jesus living with guilt....Rob Bell

There is a fable about the way birds first got their wings. The story goes that initially they were made without them. Then God made the wings, set them down before the wingless birds, and said to them, "Take up these burdens and carry them."

The birds had sweet voices for singing, and lovely feathers that glistened in the sunshine, but they could not soar in the air. When asked to pick up the burdens that lay at their feet, they hesitated at first. Yet soon they obeyed, picked up the wings with their beaks, and set them on their shoulders to carry them.

For a short time the load seemed heavy and difficult to bear, but soon, as they continued to carry the burden and to fold the wings over their hearts, the wings grew attached to their little bodies. They quickly discovered how to use them and were lifted by the wings high into the air. The weights had become wings.

This is a parable for us. We are the wingless birds, and our duties and tasks are the wings God uses to lift us up and carry us heavenward. We look at our burdens and heavy loads, and try to run from them, but if we will carry them and tie them to our hearts, they will become wings. And on them we can then rise and soar toward God.

There is no burden so heavy that when lifted cheerfully with love in our hearts will not become a blessing to us. God intends for our tasks to be our helpers; to refuse to bend our shoulders to carry a load is to miss the new opportunity for growth.

No matter how overwhelming, any burden God has lovingly placed
with His own hands on our shoulders is a blessing.

**Shared by Joe Gatuslao

by Joe Gatuslao

How many minutes are there  in an hour? As many as we want to put onto it. We are responsible for the continual, unceasing flow of minutes that make the hour. That makes us what we are.  When we have a goal every day, every minute counts.  When we have no goal, when we are lazy, every minute flies away uselessly.

I know a doctor who wanted to be a plastic surgeon. He wanted me to do surgery one morning at 1 A.M., was fascinated, and wanted to be my pupil.  I agreed to teach him.  He came once, twice, and suddenly didn't appear.  A few days later he came to my office and explained that he had overslept.  He asked if I operated in the afternoon. I told him that I always operate in the morning at the hospital because it is best for the patient psychologically.  He never took the course.  He couldn't get up early enough.

We are all made of assets and liabilities. When we have a goal, we make time. When we are indolent, when we procrastinate, we lose precious time with fear, unbelief, uncertainty, and loneliness, because these thieves take us away from creative living and happiness.

There are twenty-four hours or fourteen hundred and forty minutes in
a day. When we have a goal each day, every hour means a day of adventure; we make every minute count. When we are lazy, we can't
find enough time in an hour. It's like a day wasted. There are fourteen and forty useful minutes in a day. If we use these minutes to advantage, we are on the road to successful living and happiness.

     If someone were to ask me what I would do if I "had it to do all over again," my answer would be this: I would love my friends and relations so well that no matter what, they would love me back in the same way.  No reservations, no quid pro quos.  No angst, no sibling rivalry, no holds barred.  Maybe then I wouldn't be wondering now what it is that gets in the way of relationships between people whose connection to one another is so profound that nothing ought to be able to harm it.

     I started thinking about this because of the extraordinary and painful rifts that seem to be tearing through the bonds of sisters I know.  Has it always been there, I wonder, this awful, almost inevitable hurting of each other's souls?  Are we just now owning it, or has something fundamental gone out of our relational lives, making space for the hot acid of recrimination that appears to creep so readily into the crevices of our hearts?  Much has been made of the complex mother-daughter dyad in recent times, but almost no one, it seems, has explored the delicate territory of sisterhood, or friendship for that matter.  If not altogether unmapped, those are tough topographies worthy of further exploration.

     I became convinced of that when a friend told me with great sadness recently about the falling-out she'd had with her sister shortly before the sister's death.  This was followed by a tearful conversation with one of my favorite cousins whose relationship with her beloved sister had become so fragile that she feared they would never repair the damage done.  Shortly afterwards, another cousin, and then another, told similar stories.  "She's not there for me when I need her," they told me.  "She did this or didn't do that."  "She just doesn't understand me."  "I love her dearly, but we can't seem to talk."  "She doesn't know where I'm coming from."  "There's too much competition between us."  All of it was familiar to me.  I, too, had suffered the emotional split from a much-loved sister and had grieved the change in our relationship for years.  It is an experience of loss that only those who have gone through it can know.

     In each case, I gave them the same advice.  "No matter what your issues are," I said, "find your way back to what binds you.  No matter what it takes: hours of talking together, weeping, screaming, whatever - have it out until you get back in touch with the love, the loyalty, the special relationship you once had.  Reclaim your sister before it's too late.  If you don't, you may live to regret it."  I could say this with quiet authority: I lost my sister, my only, much-loved older sister, before I could reclaim her, and it was too late.  Each of them understood me, I think, but none has been able yet to act.

     This scenario, while perhaps more dramatic between siblings, isn't confined just to family.  Friendship and other meaningful relationships are destroyed every day over mundane as well as profound issues.  One friend of mine, a lifelong friend on my short list of people I could count on, told me recently that an offhand remark of mine had offended her so much that she could not accept my invitation to an annual holiday dinner.  I was stunned.  Even if I had been unintentionally tactless, was that a reason to virtually end all contact? 

If I stopped talking to everyone I love who had ever offended me, I thought, life would be a pretty lonely affair.

     When did relationships become this cheap, this dispensable?  When did we begin to give up on "working things out"?  When did we start junk-piling the important connections in our lives and stop stockpiling the reservoirs of forgiveness and tolerance that made family and friendship work in spite of themselves?

     I've talked to my cousins and my friends about this a lot lately.  And every time, a familiar ache roots itself in my chest, and I wonder what would have happened had my sister lived.  Would we have done our screaming, weeping and talking until we were able to hug our way back to sisterhood and the bond of sibling connection?

     Will her daughters, with whom I struggle so heartily now to forge family ties, ever understand why my heart breaks when they keep me at arm's length because of the baggage they insist on bearing?  Will my cousins reclaim their own sisters before it's too late?

     With all my heart, I hope so.  Because they are the lucky ones.  They can do it all over again.  And that is an opportunity just too good to pass up in this time of fragile friendships, remote relatives and hungry hearts yearning for simple connection.*from Chicken Soup for the Soul

                                                       ***

I was quite touched by this story . I only planned to skim through it because my mailbox was crawling with customer queries I needed to distribute and respond to,  (A really tense and busy day in the office, more than double that of yesterday, I can safely say.) but this made me slow down and pause a full minute.

So busy. So busy. That's true. But at the end of the day it feels great having a friend to share all your sad, crazy stories to. Human connection is most needed in these trying times. My friends keep me (in)sane!

Feel free to share this or pass it on to your own friends....Group HUG time!~angel~

Broken Sonnet - Hale

And now I concede on the night
of this fifteenth song
Of melancholy, of melancholy
And now I will admit in this fourth line
That I love you, that i love you

I don't care what they say
I don't care what they do

Cause tonight I leave my fears behind
Cause tonight I'll be right at your side

The clock on the TV says 8:39 p.m.
It's the same, it's the same
And in this next line I'll say it all over again
That I love you, that i love you

I don't care what they say
I don't care what they do

Cause tonight I leave my fears behind
Cause tonight I'll be right at your side
Lie down right next to me
Lie down right next to me
And I will never let go, will never let go

I leave my fears behind
Cause tonight I'll be right at your side
Lie down right next to me
Lie down right next to me
And i will never let go, never let go

But still I see the tears from your eyes
Maybe I'm just not the one for you

***

The Day You Said Goodnight - Hale

Take me as you are
Push me off the road
the sadness,
I need this time to be with you
I'm freezing in the sun
I'm burning in the rain
The silence
I'm screaming,
Calling out your name

Bridge:
And i do reside in your heat
that puts up the fire with me and find
Yeah you'll lose the side of your circles
That's what i'll do if we say goodbye

Chorus:
To be is all i gotta be
And all that i see
And all that i need this time
To me the life you gave me
The day you said goodnight.


The calmness in your face
That I see through the night
The warmth that your light is pressing unto us
You didn't ask me why
I never would have known
oblivion is falling down

Bridge:
And i do reside in your light
Put out the fire with me and find
Yeah you'll lose the side of your circles
That's what i'll do if we say goodbye

Chorus:
To be is all i gotta be
And all that i see
And all that i need this time
To me the life you gave me
The day you said goodnight.

If you could only know me like your prayers at night
Then everything between you and me will be alright.

Chorus:
To be is all i gotta be
And all that i see
And all that i need this time
To me the life you gave me
The day you said goodnight.


she's already taken,
she's already taken
she's already taken me
she's already taken,
she's already taken me

The day you said goodnight.

                                                  ***

No, I will not entertain any questions. Only *hugs* are allowed and welcome. Let me sit and be still.

Angel

Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There’s always one reason
To feel not good enough
And it’s hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I’ll find some peace tonight

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there

So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There’s vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lie
That you make up for all that you lack
It don’t make no difference
Escaping one last time
It’s easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here

**Don't ask why, better yet WHO got me hooked to Tom Welling... hehehehe...I was watching Smallville reruns all weekend. Busy Monday morning here at the office. Bloody, in more ways than one, but as always, challenging and fulfilling.

Was glad to have kept more than a little prayer in my pocket. Hey, if you need me, I got plenty more *hugs* to spare...God Bless ya' all!

Have you ever wondered why God would not intervene in your most difficult situation only to find out afterwards that He did, but His timing was different from yours?  How often we struggle to receive an immediate answer from the Lord only to thank Him later for not responding to our emergencies, according to our wishes.

This does not mean that God is removed from your particular situation, or does not care about our own despair.  But he sees the needs differently, and therefore, plans special strategies to see us through.  This does not necessarily mean resolving the critical situation immediately, but equipping us with confidence and power to endure it.  R. Niebuhr wrote once: "Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, and accepting hardship as a pathway to peace."

During the long years of turmoil and foreign wars on our beloved land, Lebanon, we diligently and earnestly longed for peace. We desperately wanted the severe troubles to end. A prominent Lebanese pastor later testified: "For years we prayed for peace and for the end of war in our country and God did not seem to answer us.  So we stopped praying for the troubles to end and instead we started praying for courage, endurance, and strength.  And God immediately answered!"

Beloved friend, although at times you may not fully understand, even when you cannot see God's hand, trust in His heart.  For God is too
wise to be mistaken, and He is too good to be unfair.  He is definitely too omnipotent to be unable to be with you and relieve your despair.

----------------------------------------------
LORD, I believe

In the sun, even when
it is behind the clouds;
In the seed even when
it lies unsprouted under the ground;
In faith, even when I have been
betrayed;
In love, even when I have been
rejected;
In hope, even when I have been
hurt;
In God, even when
you do not answer my prayers.
------------------------------------------------

Shared by Joe Gatuslao
Bacolod City, Philippines

**interesting piece that came in via email early this morning. Given the current challenges I am facing, this story was like a much-needed hug, reassuring me that good things do come to those who wait in expectant faith.

It's almost six pm and I have just sent off the last of the emails I am tasked to answer at work. Another day over, tiring, but well spent. One of the highlights of my day was receiving a rather lengthy email from my Dad, currently in LA for medical treatment, just wanting to check on me and my brother.

Yes, I am back to playing dutiful ate. I had to get up extra early this morning to cook...finals week already, if that's any consolation. He's sure to be sleeping in late starting next week...equivalent to more shut eye for me too. Yey!

Love in the Time of Cholera was one of the great living classics of the Spanish language. It has been called a masterpiece of sensuous prose, because of its ability to summon up the textures, sensual pleasures, tastes, and smells associated with living in a particular place at a particular time. Because of this, it has been compared to other contemporary texts such as Toni Morrison's vibrant account of Harlem life Jazz. Overblown yet controlled, Garcia Marquez's story of life, love, and lust in a convention-bound provincial city on the Caribbean coast of Colombia displays great imaginative and narrative freedom. In addition, it has an almost novella-like discipline in its structuring of recurrent ideas.

Quotes:

*Together they had overcome the daily incomprehension, the instantaneous hatred, the reciprocal nastiness, and fabulous flashes of glory in the conjugal conspiracy. It was time when they both loved each other best, without hurry or excess, when both were most conscious of and grateful for their incredible victories over adversity. Life would still present them with other moral trials, of course, but that no longer mattered: they were on the other shore.

*The problem with marriage is that it ends every night after making love, and it must be rebuilt every morning before breakfast.--Dr. Urbino

"LORD, THANK YOU FOR THIS FATHER..."

My father has come to live with us, Lord.  And we love him.  We tell
him, and ourselves, that we want him.  But it is hard, so hard on all
of us.  Nobody is interested in his stories, which we have heard too
often.  He gets in the way when company is here.  He gets underfoot
in the kitchen.  He drops things, spills things.  He broke my
favorite dish and I had to bite my tongue.  He was so contrite, so
pathetic trying to mend it. His hands shake, Lord. Those dear hands
that worked so hard for us.

He gets out his wallet or his old-fashioned snap purse and gives the
children money, though I have asked him not to.  He can't afford it,
and it isn't good for them. Then I remember when those hands were
strong and proud, the source of plenty.  I remember when he was a
hero to us, as he wants to be a hero to my children. I see how those
hands tremble and I can't stand it.

My father, my own dear father, Lord.  And I simply don't have time
for him...Those weeks he was ill he clung to me so eagerly...I'm
haunted by the specter of a long illness, Lord.  Sometimes, forgive
me, of the unfairness of this burden when we still have our family to
think of.  Our family...just as once he had his. To support, to break
his back for without complaining.  And not only us -- he was so good
to his father and mother.  Oh, God, when I think I can't endure this,
let me remember how good he was to my grandparents.

How can I even speak of fairness if I complain at my turn to take
care of the father who took care of all of us so long, and did it
with so much less?  Dear Lord, please let the deep love and
gratefulness I have for my father be paramount. Let it fill me, guide
me, help me to triumph over these personal conflicts.  Give me
compassion. Give me understanding. My heart breaks for him...

For I see him as the true source of me. This man whose intense love
for her [my mother] brought me into existence... Who am I? I am a
child of my father, this father under my roof, close enough to
touch...His strong daily living example helped to shaped the person I
have become.

Oh, dear heavenly Father, thank you for this father made in your
image here on earth.  For giving me this opportunity to know him,
love him, revere him. To make his final days as pleasant as possible
before he goes to join her, his wife, my mother, the woman he loved so much. (Shared by Joe Gatuslao)

***

A few days into his now annual trip to Los Angeles for medical treatment, and I receive a text message from my father. His blood pressure has shot up to 160/110 and had to go see his doctor a day ahead of schedule....I would have worried and panicked, as I have always done, but last night, for some reason, all I could reply to his message was: God be with you Dad, we'll keep praying that you get well.

That one line surprised me, the forever Daddy's girl, noting that I was no longer on the verge of tears. I am truly thankful that I am now able to hold  tighter to my faith than let my emotions get the better of me. 

Truth be told, I know I would not be able to add a single day to my Dad's years by worrying. The only thing I can do is continuously pray for his healing and total recovery in total submission and thanksgiving.

Thanks to all of you too for your support and prayers! Have a happy weekend.

by: Anggun

Only tell me that you still want me here
When you wander off out there
To those hills of dust and hard winds that blows
In that dry white ocean alone

Lost out in the desert
You are lost out in the desert

But to stand with you in a ring of fire
I'll forget the days gone by
I'll protect your body and guard your soul
From mirages in your sight

Lost out in the desert (desert desert)

If your hopes scatter like the dust across your track
I'll be the moon that shines on your path
The sun may blind our eyes I'll pray the skies above
For snow to fall on the sahara
If that's the only place where you can leave your doubts
I'll hold you up and be your way out
And if we burn away I'll pray the skies above
For snow to fall on the sahara

Just a wish and I will cover your shoulders
With veils of silk and gold
When the darkness comes and darkened your heart
Leaving you with regrets so cold

Lost out in the desert (desert desert)

If your hopes scatter like the dust across your track
I'll be the moon that shines on your path
The sun may blind our eyes I'll pray the skies above
For snow to fall on the Sahara
If that's the only place where you can leave your doubts
I'll hold you up and be your way out
And if we burn away I'll pray the skies above
For snow to fall on the Sahara
For snow to fall on the Sahara (to fade)

***

Had a rather busy and tiring weekend, spent it on outreach in Don Bosco, Mandaluyong. Too good, it's a slow Monday here at work, not as many projects or deadlines lined up for the week as I had initially expected. Haha! So I am actually thankful for the reprieve.

This song had been my LSS since Friday, Anggun's Snow on the Sahara. And yes, if you're reading, this one's for you, A. I do not wish to be your rain, and I am painfully aware that I can never bring you sunshine. So this is all I can wish to be for you, snow on your desert on days when sunlight burns too much.

I miss you too.

                            By: Bo Sanchez

     One day, I was giving a retreat to a bunch of bigwig executives.
As a whole, the group was very happy to be there.Except for one guy -- one of the vice presidents -- at the back of the room.

     If horses suffered from menopause, that was what he looked like:
He snorted around, kicked his hoofs about, creating dust clouds
everywhere. While all were listening to my talk, he'd stand up and
walk around, disturbing everyone, chatting with people and munching chips! Obviously, he didn't like being there. I guessed he was forced by the company's president to attend the retreat.

     This menopausal horse was getting to my nerves, so I approached him after my talk. The evil laboratory in my brain provided me with a few opening lines to use.

     "Let me see...You became VP by marrying the owner's daughter, right?"

     "You're a VP? Does that stand for Vile Personality?"

     "So, what Al Quaeda cell do you work for?"

     "Are you by any chance demon-possessed?"

     Of course, my favorite was...

     "Hi, are you having hot flushes?"

     Thankfully, I didn't choose any of the above.Instead, I took him aside and sincerely asked, "Hi, brother. How are you?"After some awkward moments, his story came pouring out.

     "Last month, my wife was diagnosed to have cancer," his voice
trembled, "and the doctors don't know how long she will last. I hate
being here because I want to be with her every waking time I
have."  He wept like a baby.

     Suddenly, I felt tinier than a virus.Can anyone step on me and squash me, pleeeease? I deserved it.

     I said, "Brother, can I pray for your wife right now?"He nodded. I laid my hand over him and prayed for her healing.You won't believe what happened next. For the rest of the retreat, the man was as attentive as a contemplative  nun.

     I learned two lessons that day.

     One, I'll never call anyone (even in my mind) a menopausal horse again.Two, I need to know the story behind the story.

     Without it, making judgments is insanity.

***

Had my version of this lesson the other day. It was so humiliating for me that I ended up giving myself a mental roundhouse kick in the arse. It was humbling, to say the least, and I only started to feel better after a thorough apology to the person concerned.

In my heart of hearts I knew I shouldn't have been smug  and that I should not have looked down at her inability to comprehend certain things concerning her job. I should have just offered a hand, without making such a fuss about it, and belittlling the person in the process.

I ended up making a mistake too, and there I was confident that I knew the task inside out, like the back of my hand. So, there....that was my lesson...that God truly does humble the proud and raises up those who are weak.