It was fun while it lasted
Posted in Love and other Disasters

Set You Free

We often fool ourselves
And say that it's love
Only cause when it's gone we end up being lonely
So how are we to know That it just isn't so
That we just have to let each other go
There were many times
When we shared precious moments
But later realized they were only stolen moments
So how are we to know That it just wasn't so
That we just had to let each other go

If loving you is all that means to me
When being happy is all I hope you'd be
Then loving you must mean
I really have to set you free

Each day remains my love for you
Keeps growing stronger But everytime we meet
Makes leaving you so much harder
So how are we to know That this just wasn't so
That we just have to let each other go

If loving you is all that means to me
When being happy is all I hope you'd be
Then loving you must mean
I really have to set you free

Letting go is not an easy task
When smiling feels like
I must wear this lonely mask
It hurts deep inside And I just cannot hide
That there's anguish at the thought
That we should have to part

If  loving you is all that means to me
When being happy is all I hope you'd be
Then loving you must mean
I really have to set you free

If loving you is all that means to me
When being happy is all I hope you'd be
Then loving you must mean
I really have to set you free...

"Maybe Romeo and Juliet were fated to be together, but just for a while, and then their time passed. If they could have known that beforehand, maybe it all would have been okay. I told Mrs. Snyder that when I was grown up, I'd take fate into my own hands. I wouldn't let some guy drag me down. Mrs. Snyder said that I'd be lucky if I ever had that kind of passion with someone, and that if I did, we'd be together forever. Even now, I believe that for the most part, love is about choices. It's about putting down the poison and the dagger and making your own happy ending...most of the time. And that sometimes, despite all your best choises and all your best intentions... fate wins anyway."  "Let it be" Meredith Grey

It still smarts...
Posted in Love and other Disasters, My OST

Carrie Bradshaw: When it comes to relationships, maybe we're all in glass houses, and shouldn't throw stones. Because you can never really know. Some people are settling down, some are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less. Than butterflies...

GOODBYE MY LOVER

by James Blunt

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bare my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

Wild Wild West
Posted in Angel 24/7

Party Season has begun...IML goes Wild, Wild West.  Top right are the webbies with big bosses James Thornton, George Notaras, Darrell Tuck and Darren Taylor.

Bottom left is my team *hugs everyone* yup, standing beside me is the "blair bitch" herself, the often mentioned Consuelo in my blog entries. Posing with us proud manager Darren Taylor...three of us received performance awards/recognition, so he is beaming like a stage father.  Oh, and bottom right is Daddy James.  My copywriting mentor and new-age wisdom guru.

Happy Christmas guys!

*pag binato ka ng bato...
Posted in Angel 24/7

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. —Romans 12:21

Angel's LSS: My Grown Up Christmas List
Silverscreen Pick: Gilmore Girls Season 7 Episode 2
Differential Diagnosis: vindicated and grateful

Christmas Cramming
Posted in Angel 24/7

I was actually early with Christmas gift shopping this year.  I had my list done in late November and ordered the personalized stuff early on.  Somehow, in the mad rush of days, the early-bought gifts remained unsorted, unwrapped and unlabeled.  I also haven't started writing my normally thoughtful Christmas card messages.

Ayayayay! There must be a way for the beat to beat the holiday rush!

Cards On the Table
Posted in Angel 24/7

You are The Empress

Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.

The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents, beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.

The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Attack of the 5'10 Woman...
Posted in Love and other Disasters

Okay, so I've turned into a dvd junkie. There's nothing like reruns to keep you company on insomnia-attack evenings.  Now that my poetry is in a menopausal stage of sorts, I've got nothing better than to do than laugh/cry/whine/argue/reflect on the new age wisdom or lessons from whatever it is playing on my trusty dvd. 

Lately, I've been running Sex and the City marathons. Was never really a fan during its heydays. But I guess there's much too much of Carrie Bradshaw in me...writer, shoe addict, shopaholic, curly haired, asshole magnet...not to mention needy and neurotic and perpetually dependent on my girl friends haha!

There was this episode I saw the other night that really hit me in the gut with remembrance...and later, made me smile.

                     Attack of the Five Foot Ten Woman...

A laid back Sunday brunch is ruined when Carrie sees Big and Natasha's wedding announcement in the New York Times. Twenty five, tall, beautiful, and married, Natasha brings out Carrie's worst insecurities. When Carrie bumps into Natasha in the dressing room of a clothing boutique, Carrie wonders: Are there women in New York City who live for the sole purpose of making other women feel bad about themselves?  Carrie tries to impress Natasha by looking fabulous at a high society luncheon. But it's all for naught because Natasha doesn't show up. After trying too hard and buying clothes she couldn't really afford, Carrie feels like a loser -- until she gets Natasha's thank you note featuring an embarrassing spelling error.

So I'm normal. Hehe. I wasn't losing my marbles with being insecure over "Happy Girl" so many months ago in my past life.

I realized there will always be someone who will make us feel like the most inisignificant or biggest loser in the world. Someone we can never measure up to in the competition inside our heads. But in reality, they're far from being perfect...better said, nowhere near perfect, no more than you and me.

And then I remembered that it's been months since I last visited "Happy Girl's" blog. For those who know the story, three cheers for me and my stupidity! haha! Given my newly-acquired wisdom and ultra large dose of confidence at having finally weaned myself from the old toad, also from so many years ago in my past life *wink*, I visited her blog.

My confidence crashed. After so very long, she still had the same effect on me. Although by millions of degrees less painful. I guess some things never really change huh? 

"Why wasn't it me?" Carrie asked Big, the day of their fancy engagement party...I don't remember the whole string of Big's response. But it ended with something like...she was just there.

And  if I were to wax sentimental and muse, that would also be the answer I would like to tell myself...she was just there, way ahead of me there...and in all honesty, I'm glad she was. Because I'm now happy not to be filling in her Jimmy Choo shoes. Why? Because I'm tall enough not to wear heels...and happy enough living the life I have now. And really girl, green is  sooo not my color!

Need I say more?

*for 2007, I will...
Posted in Angel 24/7

Here's Wishing Ya All....a Peaceful, Happy, Prosperous and Blessed New Year!

Coffee and Madonna at 5 am...
Posted in Angel 24/7, My OST

Call me crazy stephie, or loose screws OC Girl...but it's the last official working day of the year and I pulled a double shift.  Yup 9 am to 6 pm and 9 pm and counting....and I'm not at all sorry that I did. It's been a wonderful year. And if only to pay my respects to one of the few that helped keep me together in 2006, here I am drinking coffee and tapping my foot to good old Maddie at 5 am.

Some people would pour themselves a glass of vintage wine or really expensive bubbly; take a trip abroad or shop to give themselves a pat in the back for a job well done. I reached that point in life where it's become more important to give back and be inconvenienced a bit and still smile to remind myself where I was exactly before I became this happy.

Like a Prayer

Friends and regular blog readers surely remember how during the first few months of the year, I was in distress over my father's medical condition. The uncertainty and weeks of waiting wrecked havoc on my spirituality and practically ate away my confidence.

And the biggest lesson I learned then was that you'll truly realize that God is all you'll ever need because He's the only thing you have. 

I was given a miracle. Again.  Another extension...and my old man is probably sound asleep at home right now, waiting for his daughter and 18-year-old son to come home for the new year. Praise the Lord!

Get Into the Groove

Sometime in May, Englishman Trevor Roberts came into the web office and staked his claim on all our asses. He got booted out of the big brother house a few months after running all of us crazy, but I managed to stay sane amidst everything.

Trevor Roberts turned out to be the break I needed, both in the workplace and in my personal life. Laden with so many tasks there was hardly any time left to mope and dwell on the sob stories of the day. And true to the adage, problems cease to exist if you push them far far away from reach.

Money problems started to melt away. Emotional hang ups too, slowly diminished. Until I woke up one morning as OC Girl, assistant and miss fix it extraordinaire...and still able to smile. Thank God!

Ray of Light

From that point on, weekdays and weekends became a singular blur. Immersed in work and adjusting to the increasing and changing demands of the workplace, I pretty much lost track of everything else.  That had some setbacks tho, since I do look like an overstuffed sausage bursting out its casings, but its reassuring to know that I can always jump back into the fitness first bandwagon and dance myself to health again

And then Dad was well enough to come back home....it turns out that around the same time, someone else was boarding a plane back to the Philippines...and was about to land into my life as well.

Crazy For You

This has always been my all-time favorite song. Since second grade if I'm not mistaken, and after so many remakes, old Maddie still tells it like it is...

I still have my doubts and my misgivings. I am carrying with me so many years of emotional baggage and trust issues. I have yet to get over being needy and neurotic...but hey, it's always worth running the risk. Feeling yourself run short of breath as you climb on, choosing to fall from a high place (right Miel?) ..hoping, but not really counting that lighting will strike....and it did.

By the time I turned 28 in October, all I had were tears of joy and Praise for the Lord. I know, there's no such thing as being secure because the future is always uncertain.  But I felt glad to be where I was and I was happy to feel what I was feeling.  It was the calm after the storm...when you realize that no matter how destructive the force was, nature will always find to heal and regenerate.

True, I have a lot more scars now. But it reminds me of the battles I've fought...the people who held my hand through everything..and the valuable lessons I picked up along the way.

All things fall into their proper place in HIS time. And that is the only reason I am still here, standing, whole, strong, happy and thankful....It's been a wonderful year. And thus ends the story that I Lived To Tell....

Happy 2007 everyone!