Feels Like Home
Posted in My OST

RULES FOR A PERFECT DAY
Posted in Angel 24/7



by Tom Hopkins

Angel's LSS: Later by Fra Lippo Lippi
Silverscreen Pick: Sex and the City Season 4
Differential Diagnosis: mag no novena ako uli

Yes I know...
Posted in Angel 24/7

Jesus Loves Me

One day a beautiful, but very troubled little girl came through the door of my Day Nursery.  From the very beginning I became captivated by this child who had so little but needed so much. I was heartbroken that a four-year-old could suffer such heartache and pain.  She was born in prison after her mom had used marijuana, crack and cocaine her entire pregnancy.  The little girl was nonverbal and had very little control.  I knew her progress would be a mighty battle.

Whenever somebody approached her, she became violent for long periods and ended up in a fetal position on the floor crying out.  I found myself praying for her day in and day out.

As months rolled on, I began to bond with this child that no one wanted.  She and I worked very hard taking one step forward and four steps back.  Daily, we sat in the big rocking chair in my office, swaying back and forth and back and forth.  During our rocking time I sang "Jesus Loves Me."  She always settled down and became very still at the melody.  Though she never spoke, peace seemed to fill her face as she listened to the song.

One day after a very long battle I held my special girl to again calm her fears and pain.  In silence we rocked back and forth and back and forth and back and forth.  Then she looked at me with tear-filled eyes and spoke for the first time, "Sing to me about that Man who loves me."

Blinking back tears, I knew the battle had been won.

'Where's The Piccolo?'
Posted in Angel 24/7

At certain times in life we may feel insignificant and useless. Surrounded by people with greater talent than ours, we are tempted in our weak moments just to settle back and let somebody else do the work. We reason that what we have to offer won't make much difference anyway.

They're Playing Your Song...
Posted in Angel 24/7

By Alan Cohen

When a woman in a certain African tribe knows she is pregnant, she goes out into the wilderness with a few friends and together they pray and meditate until they hear the song of the child. They recognize that every soul has its own vibration that expresses its unique flavor and purpose. When the women attune to the song, they sing it out loud. Then they return to the tribe and teach it to everyone else.

When the child is born, the community gathers and sings the child's song to him or her. Later, when the child enters education, the village gathers and chants the child's song. When the child passes through the initiation to adulthood, the people again come together and sing. At the time of marriage, the person hears his or her song.

Finally, when the soul is about to pass from this world, the family and friends gather at the person's bed, just as they did at their birth, and they sing the person to the next life.

When I have shared this story in my lectures, a fair amount of people in the audience come to tears. There is something inside each of us that knows we have a song, and we wish those we love would recognize it and support us to sing it. In some of my seminars I ask people to verbalize to a partner the one phrase they wish their parents had said to them as a child. Then the partner lovingly whispers it in their ear. This exercise goes very deep, and many significant insights start to click. How we all long to be loved, acknowledged, and accepted for who we are!

In the African tribe there is one other occasion upon which the villagers sing to the child. If at any time during his or her life, the person commits a crime or aberrant social act, the individual is called to the center of the village and the people in the community form a circle around them. Then they sing their song to them. The tribe recognizes that the correction for antisocial behavior is not punishment; it is love and the remembrance of identity. When you recognize your own song, you have no desire or need to do anything that would hurt another.

A friend is someone who knows your song and sings it to you when you have
forgotten it. Those who love you are not fooled by mistakes you have made
or dark images you hold about yourself. They remember your beauty when you feel ugly; your wholeness when you are broken; your innocence when you feel guilty; and your purpose when you are confused.

If you do not give your song a voice, you will feel lost, alone, and confused. If you express it, you will come to life. We attract people on a similar wavelength so we can support each other to sing aloud. Sometimes we attract people who challenge us by telling us that we cannot or should
not sing our song in public. Yet these people help us too, for they stimulate us to find greater courage to sing it.

You may not have grown up in an African tribe that sings your song to you at crucial life transitions, but life is always reminding you when you are
in tune with yourself and when you are not. When you feel good what you are doing matches your song, and when you feel awful, it doesn't.

In the end, we should all recognize our song and sing it well. You may feel a little warbly at the moment, but so have all the great singers.

Just keep singing and you'll find your way home.

The Princess and the Toad
Posted in Angel 24/7

By Joan Sutula

Chin Up!
Posted in Angel 24/7

**from Our Daily Bread

One of my all-time favorite kid’s stories is Charlotte’s Web, starring Charlotte the barnyard spider and Wilbur the pig. The farmer’s daughter, Fern, loved Wilbur and adopted him as her pet—until he was too big for the house and had to move to the barn. Wilbur missed Fern and felt sad about being away from her. Just when he thought things couldn’t get worse, the mother hen came on the scene.

She told Wilbur that her purpose in life was to lay eggs for people to eat, and the cow’s purpose was to give milk for the people to drink. Then came the real stinger: “Hey, Wilbur, do you know what your purpose is? Bacon!”

Needless to say, the hen was not a very encouraging friend!

Thankfully, Wilbur had a true friend. When Charlotte the spider found him wallowing in the muck of despair, she encouraged him with a resounding “Chin up, Wilbur!” She wove beautiful webs over his pen with words that made him feel loved and important. The webs attracted media publicity, and people from all over the area came to marvel at this “special pig.” When it was time for the county fair, Wilbur feared again for his life and asked Charlotte to weave one more web. She knew that she had only one more web to weave and that then she would die. But out of her love for Wilbur, she wove the most spectacular web yet to prove how special he was. The townspeople were so taken with the web that Wilbur’s impending death was no longer an issue.

I love the biblical parallels in this story. The most significant one being that Charlotte gave her life to save Wilbur’s. Not only that—but she made him a special pig!

Most of us can probably identify with Wilbur at some point. All of us face problems in life when we desperately need someone to come along and encourage us—a “chin up” friend.

Jesus is a friend for the doomed! We can either mope around our little barnyard of life, or we can get our chin up and believe that our friend Jesus is making something special of our lives.

Next time you’re feeling down in the dumps, rejoice in the fact that you have been rescued from the grave, promised eternal life, and are a child of the King.

Now that’s a “chin up” thought that can keep you going with hope and strength!

The Same Love
Posted in My OST

by Expose'

Mmm...hmm...

You and me
We had a love that was forever
That’s what I thought and I can still remember
Words we said
We said we’d always be together
Then why am I alone tonight

Something changed and now you
just don’t feel the same
I’ll never understand

How can the same love that made me so happy
Make me so sad, I don’t understand
How could the same eyes that used
to be laughin’
Cry in the night, it doesn’t seem right at all

Rememberin’ the nights we held onto each other
The times you told me you’d never love another
(Remember when) That I was all you ever needed
Where are you when I need you now

Sunny days have left me standin’ in the
rain (Standing in the rain)
Can somebody tell me how

How can the same love that made me so happy
Make me so sad, I don’t understand
How could the same eyes that used to be laughin’
Cry in the night, it doesn’t seem right at all

Was my heart so blind I couldn’t see
Was I a fool to believe the promises you made to me
What went wrong
Oh, what went wrong

How can the same love
that made me so happy
Make me so sad, I don’t understand
How can the same eyes that used to be laughin’
Cry in the night, it doesn’t seem right at all

Big Problems, Little Miracles
Posted in Angel 24/7



By Patricia Lorenz

Breaking Up Isn't So Hard To Do...
Posted in Love and other Disasters

How to break up with a guy
By Dan Bova

Let’s face it, there are no easy ways to end a relationship. But if you understand what really makes men tick, there are ways to make it a little less horrible. Here are some insider tips from the mouths of the broken-hearted — and some love gurus — on how to let a guy down easy. Use them next time you need a send a fella packin’.

Be definitive
When telling a guy that it is over, be clear that it is absolutely, positively O-V-E-R. “Sometimes we may be inclined to leave the door open — either to leave options open for ourselves or to soften the blow of the breakup for the other person — but this is dangerous territory,” says April Masini, author of Date Out of Your League. It might seem nice to offer the possibility that one day in the future, you two will find your way back into each other’s arms, but all this does is give the poor sap false hope. And with false hope come drunken calls at 3 a.m. asking if you’re ready to take him back yet. “Make it clear that he needs to move on,” says John Seeley, M.A., author of Get Unstuck! The Simple Guide to Restart Your Life. “Guys would rather hear the truth and then know what they need to do to move forward in their lives.”

Don’t let him be the last to know
Sure, talking through your feelings with a friend can be helpful when working up the courage to break things off, but try to limit yourself to how many people hear the test-run of your dumping speech. Eventually, some one is going to blab, and as any guy will tell you, being the last to know that you’ve been dumped is not fun. “My best friend told me that he heard my girlfriend was thinking of breaking up with me,” says Dave, 32, from Long Island, NY. “I later found out that all of my friends knew before I did. I was so pissed off and humiliated. I felt like the biggest fool on earth, walking around telling every one how in love I was, and all of them knowing she was about to can me. It was the worst.”

Don’t use a keyboard
The Internet is great for many things: Locating discount airfares, paying credit card bills, wasting hundreds of hours looking at weird sites; the list goes on and on. But one thing that is not on that list and never should be is dropping a boyfriend like a bad habit. “My ex dumped me twice online,” says Chris, 31, from Washington, MO. “Once by email after we’d spent the weekend together; the second time over IM. At least ‘woman up’ and tell me in person!” Seriously, canceling a relationship like a credit card will put you in his Worst Girlfriend Hall of Fame for life. “Answering machine, emails, Post-its and faxes are not cool ways to break up,” says April Masini. “If you’ve spent more than three dates with the person — or if you’ve slept together — you owe her a face-to-face sit-down.” If you’re a total coward, the phone can be an acceptable termination device—but only for short-term relationships.

Steer clear of fake excuses
OK, you don’t have to tell someone point-blank that he is boring, weird, smelly or all of the above, but lying your way out of a relationship is almost always going to backfire. He’ll feel twice as bad when he learns the truth, and you’ll feel like an idiot. “I went out a few times with this chick, and we talked a few times afterward,” says John, 34, from Virginia. “She worked as a government contractor at a submarine base and told me she’d been accepted to a top-secret program in Arizona that would last at least six months. Long story short: She was lying, and I bumped into her a month later. And this was after we had a conversation about how lame it was when people couldn’t be honest!” If you want either one of you to maintain your dignity, tell him the truth. You don’t have to be brutally honest, though. “I just don’t feel a connection with you” is a perfectly good way of saying, “You are too ugly” or “I didn’t know someone could kiss that badly.”

Be brief
“Keep it short and sweet,” says Stephany Alexander, relationship expert at womansavers.com. Unless you’ve been together for years and years, no breakup should last more than 30 minutes. You don’t need to give him every reason you want to end things: Just name one or two major problems, and be done with it. The last thing you want is having him interpret your litany of ways he’s a loser as things he can change to win you back. Make it clear that this isn’t a negotiation. It may seem cruel to be brusque, but like ripping off a Band-Aid, the faster you do it, the faster you’ll feel better.

Avoid the drama
A guy with wounded pride and hurt feelings can get verbally abusive. Try to diffuse the situation with silence. “Don’t engage with him,” says April Masini. “Listen. Be quiet. Don’t respond.” Don’t fuel the fire by defending yourself. Let him get it all out, then leave. If you’re worried that the guy might hurt himself or someone else in the wake of your breakup, call a counselor or a police officer. Trying to take on a dangerous situation by yourself is just that—dangerous.

Secure a break-up buddy
“Breaking up can be overwhelming,” says April Masini, “and it may cause you to want to call your ex for contact or comfort. After you break up, have plans to meet with a friend. Debrief over lunch and a movie.” Remove his number from your cell phone while you’re at it. Post-break-up conversations tend to lead to post-break-up sex, and next thing you know, you’re having brunch together and wondering how the heck you wound up with this guy again. If you want to touch base to see how he’s doing, give it a couple of months at least. If he’s still sweet on you, any contact (no matter how innocent) is going to be interpreted as a ray of hope that love will spring again

How to break up with a woman
By Kimberly Dawn Neumann

Breakups suck. There’s no other way to put it. But keep in mind that what happens in the moments before, during and after you deliver those three little words (“This isn’t working&rdquo will forever determine how you’re remembered. Will you be that great guy she remembers wistfully… or the jerk she can’t believe she ever dated?

Unless there has been some egregious violation of the dating code — she did something so unforgivable you get a free pass to behave like an idiot — most women would ask for one thing: End it like a man, not a frat boy. “Dumping someone is never fun but if you’re clear about why your relationship has to end and you know that it’s time, you owe it to the woman to make the break,” says dating guru David Wygant, founder of www.flirtdaily.com. “Just be kind, honest within reason, and brief.”

With that in mind, we decided to gather input from women and experts about the best way to let a gal go.

• Don’t do a disappearing act. Sadly this is an all too common tactic with men, but listen up… it’s just not cool. “My friends and I agree there’s nothing worse than fading away into oblivion!” says Stacey, 29, from Pensacola, FL. “Then the girl is left just wondering and waiting.” Women need some sort of closure, and you owe her some kind of explanation before you decide to vanish.
  
  
• Do consider the timing. Though it’s not totally your responsibility to see how she survives the breakup, you can help ease the transition by considering when you break the news. “It’s thoughtful and courteous to be aware of what is going on in her life,” says JoAnn Magdoff, Ph.D., a psychotherapist in New York City, NY. In other words, don’t be an extra-special jerk by delivering the news when she’s already going through a rough patch. If she lost her job yesterday, give it a little time before having the big talk.
  
  
• Don’t rely on technology. We live in a world of cell phones, Blackberries, and IMs, which means it’s easier than ever to get in touch with each other. But, please don’t use it as a way to escape confrontation. “Using technology to break up is a cowardly act—it means you don’t have the balls to face me,” says Kerry, 37, from Portsmouth, NH. “If you liked me enough to kiss me, sleep with me, have a romance with me, then I think the very least you can do is honor that connection by ending it in person.”
  
  
• Do give her face time. You may be tempted to deliver the news and then get the heck out of there, but there’s nothing worse than bringing up the subject when you don’t have adequate time to discuss it. Yes, that means you will have to talk to her and you might have to witness some tears, but it’s the right thing to do. “My ex broke up with me by meeting me for a drink, and we had a very open and civilized conversation,” says Gigi, 39, from New York, NY. “Yes, it still hurt, but because of the classy way he handled it, we didn’t lose our friendship, too.”
  
  
• Do choose your location wisely. There’s no reason to break the news behind closed doors—but a bit of privacy is a good thing. What you shouldn’t do is deliver the news someplace where she’ll lose dignity. “If you’re at a party surrounded by friends where everyone will see her if she bursts into tears, that’s not a good call,” says Wygant. “This is between the two of you, not your whole posse.” Wygant also suggests staying away from your favorite haunt or where you had your first date or anywhere that will evoke painful memories. Think neutral, think semi-private, and let her save face.
  
  
• Don’t be too honest. Women need “reasons” so they can accept the breakup and move on. But there’s one big caveat… don’t be spiteful or hurtful. “Getting broken up with is insulting at some level and just being rejected feels bad enough. So why make the person feel worse?” says Laurie Puhn, J.D., author of Instant Persuasion: How to Change Your Words to Change Your Life. No woman wants to hear that you’re dumping her because she has bad breath or she’s no longer attractive to you or you’re insanely attracted to her best friend. These kinds of reflections shouldn’t be shared: “You’re no longer entitled to give advice or criticism because you aren’t her boyfriend anymore,” says Puhn. Instead, your reasons for breaking up should focus on how you two aren’t the right match. Try saying something like “Both of us are good people, but I don’t think we’re the right fit together.”
  
  
• Don’t hedge. You start to deliver the news, you see her lip quiver, and you think, Oh no, she’s going to cry. Should you attempt to soften the blow by saying “Well, there might be a chance for us in the future but right now the timing isn’t good” or “Maybe when things quiet down at work” or “I think I just need a break”? No, no, no! Giving a woman a false sense of hope will not help her heal. “If you know it’s over, spare her the agony of pretending that you might call her sometime when you won’t,” says Dr. Magdoff. “If you really aren’t certain about the future, you can say ‘I’m not sure, but please don’t hold your breath…’”
  
  
• Don’t freak if she gets emotional. We’re reputed to be the more sensitive sex, remember? So yes, there’s a chance that your gal might start sobbing or screaming or otherwise emoting (and you need to let her). “If she gets hostile or weepy, stay calm and let her get angry or hysterical for a little while; remember, you’ve been thinking about the breakup for weeks, she heard about it 10 seconds ago,” says Puhn. If she gets more and more worked up as the minutes pass, however, take your leave and give her some down time to adjust to the new information. “Before walking away, however, set a specific time to talk later to give her security that you’re willing to explain yourself and listen to what she has to say when she’s calmed down,” Puhn adds.
  
  
• Don’t use the “It’s not you, it’s me” line. Everyone knows if someone leaves you it’s because you’re not who they want and that’s the bottom line. “Anyone on the receiving end of this line can see through it,” says Magdoff. She suggests a better phrase to utter might be, “Who you are and what you want are absolutely terrific, but where I am right now is a very different place.”
  
  
• Do break up with her before starting anything else! That’s called cheating! And if you intentionally stray in an effort to make her break up with you, you’re a chicken and deserve whatever reaction you get! Also, forget about using the “I’ve met someone else” escape clause. Introducing a new love into a breakup discussion only tortures your soon-to-be ex. “After three years together, my boyfriend ended it with me over the phone by saying he’d met another woman on his trip to Europe,” says Jenny, 30, from Seattle, WA. “I spent the next two years wondering, What’s it like for them? Is it different from when he and I were together? Do they order the same kind of takeout? Do they listen to the same music we listened to? Do they laugh as much? Do they laugh more? And what makes her so much more appealing than me?” Get the point? Mentioning another woman really hurts and intensifies the pain.
  
  
• Do keep in touch, but only on special occasions. Calling just to check up on her in a week or a month is not really helpful. It just confuses things and catapults you back into the forefront of her mind. There is one exception here though… the special occasion. “If it’s her birthday or a holiday and you were very close, then it is sweet to call to wish her well,” says Puhn. However, don’t call to make plans, don’t call to discuss sensitive issues and don’t talk for longer than 10 minutes. “Be acquaintances and keep in mind that acquaintances rarely talk more than twice a year,” says Puhn.
  
  
• Don’t engage in break-up sex. We know… it’s comfortable, she’s vulnerable, and you think one more time won’t hurt anything. Wrong. When you get intimate she’ll be reminded of the amazing physical connection you two had, and suddenly you’re right back in it. Do you really want to go through another breakup? Ex sex doesn’t end things…it just drags it out.
  
  
• Do reassure her. One final point—let her know that she mattered. Puhn suggests saying something like “I enjoyed being with you, and I value the time we spent together, but we just aren’t right for the long run.” She needs to know that you didn’t consider her ‘a waste of time’ or unimportant. That will help her risk giving her heart to someone else in the future.

The Drama King...
Posted in Love and other Disasters

By Dalma Heyn

When Kim found out that Peter, her boyfriend of six months, was sleeping with another woman, she threw up. When she finally pulled herself together long enough to confront him, he looked at her quizzically, like her dog did when she gently pushed him off her pillow. He didn’t understand. “Like, did we ever promise we’d be faithful?” he asked. No, they’d never shaken on it, but their involvement had led her to assume an exclusivity that she now saw was one-sided. Hurled into a country song about a good-hearted woman in love with a good-time man, Kim realized that she’d opened herself up to someone who lacked a heart. She ushered him out of her home by saying, “You’re right. You never promised you’d be faithful. Now, let’s end this, OK?” With that same baffled-puppy look she once found endearing, he played dumb a second time. “But why?”

A New Kind of Guy

Peter is a Drama King. Drama Kings are perfectly attractive, often successful men who look like other guys — guys who want real relationships — but who routinely screw up relationships by being ambivalent (“I’m just not ready for a real relationship!&rdquo, hostile (“Why are you trying to put labels on us?!&rdquo, or passive (“I don’t like to plan ahead&rdquo. Unlike Drama Queens, who merely thrive on chaos and hysteria, these men cause chaos and hysteria, then walk away without a second thought.

I’ve had an ongoing dialogue with women since before my first book on women and sexual silence. In the past few years, I’ve begun hearing something new: High-achieving, strong women of all ages going out with men who seemed to want a relationship but who then… weren’t there. These disappointing men seemed to love their girlfriends’ strength, but then undermine it; to love their sexuality, but then shrink from it; to want a relationship, but then sabotage it. What was going on?

Drama Kings appear to be suitors, but they aren’t: Their issues with intimacy and attachment are so complicated, their ideas about commitment so mangled, that they cannot help but drain you dry, leaving you to sadly wonder how other people manage to find love. They’re throwbacks to a time when the world (and women) revolved around men’s needs—they are one-man shows who can’t share center stage with anyone. There are different types, but what Drama Kings have in common is that they will leave you feeling rejected and confused.

Types of Drama Kings

Peter is of the feeling-impaired variety of Drama King: Nothing emotional moves him. Another kind of Drama King I call The Visitor. The Visitor is only a guest in a relationship, no matter how long it goes on. He likes to check in and out at whim. He calls at the last minute; he never makes plans; he figures every other Tuesday or Wednesday is enough contact.

Hal, for example, viewed Jessica’s place as a bed and breakfast where he was welcome at any time and on however short notice. “Hey,” he’d say on a Friday afternoon, having not spoken to her for a week. “Whatcha up to? Shall I come over? We’ll have a bite and then maybe a movie? Or whatever?” His spontaneity was adorable for about two weeks. After a month, the exhaustion set in. Jessica began to get grumpy. “What man above age 17 acts as if every evening were a potential hookup? I’m 30. What about a real date?” But Visitors resent the commitment and effort required to really date. Jessica said, “Hal, when you want to go out for real, give me a call more than two days before you want to see me.” She never heard from him again. But her exhaustion went away.

Dethroning the Drama Kings

So how do you avoid a Drama King? It’s not a question of recognizing him from afar—evaluating a man always takes a little time, and a Drama King doesn’t look like he’s threatened by closeness or seem like someone who will vanish. But a Drama King may give immediate clues by stating up front that he doesn’t, say, like talking on the phone or want to get married again—even though you’re an optimistic dater, you must accept that he’s handing you the facts, not a challenge.

The key to identifying a Drama King is exhaustion. After a few encounters, you’ll have an overwhelming feeling of being, well, zapped. You’ll wonder, “Isn’t a relationship supposed to be fun—not a constant struggle to just see one another?” Yes.

Drama Kings can only damage you if you let them stick around and keep you in a holding pattern of unfulfillment. Many women make excuses for their Drama Kings or tell themselves they’re being needy when all they want is a little respect. It’s up to you to stay as strong as you know you are. It’s that old lesson of remembering a bad pattern, or a bad feeling, so that you don’t repeat it. So when you’re with someone who makes you feel as if you’re chasing your tail whenever you try to have a discussion, realize, A-ha—Drama King! and move on. Find another adorable guy who energizes you, longs to get closer to you, and doesn’t freak out when he does. He’s out there, and you don’t deserve anything less—no matter what the Drama Kings tell you.

It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken...
Posted in Love and other Disasters

He's Not Hiding At the Bottom of That Pint of Ice Cream

When going through a breakup, we know it's natural to try to numb your pain by reaching out for things that make you feel good. Martinis. French fries. Coffee Heath Bar Crunch. That's why we chose an image of ice cream for our book cover -- because it seemed to be the universal symbol of the comfort we all reach for when trying to get over a broken heart. Okay, so booze ran a close second, but we thought a picture of a half-empty Long Island Iced Tea and an ashtray of smoldering butts would be too depressing. It's completely natural to seek some kind of temporary relief and distraction from the pain you are experiencing right now. But while numbing yourself is a coping strategy, it's not an effective one. The feelings that accompany a traumatic breakup can easily lead to an avalanche of bad behavior. Harmless vices that you used to indulge in every once in a while -- cigarettes, donut holes, blowing a week's salary on a pair of shoes -- now suddenly become a way of life. But diving into a downward spiral doesn't hurt him -- it only hurts you, and why would you want to do that?

Drowning your sorrows in the comforts of excess won't get him back -- it'll only make you fatter, drunker, and sadder. Not that there's anything wrong with being fat, drunk, and sad -- after all, look how it worked out for Ernest Hemingway. Breakups present an awesome opportunity for self-destructive behavior that often seems warranted but proves detrimental in the end. Whether you wake up in somebody else's bed, on the floor, or curled up inside an empty pizza box, this behavior only momentarily derails you from your agony. When you wake up, you'll be right back where you were the night before -- still broken up, but now nursing a nasty hangover of excess or regret, and no further along on the road to recovery. Not that we're against a good romp in the hay, night on the town, or pint of Chunky Monkey -- just understand that it's like putting a Band-Aid over a broken bone. It's not going to fix anything.

"Oh really?" you ask. "What should I do, then, stay home and read? Maybe I'll get my taxes done early or pop in a workout video." Let's not get carried away. We'd never ask you to do something as hateful as a workout video (unless you know of a really good one). We're merely suggesting that you lean into the idea of making healthier choices. Fun does not always have to come at the expense of your waistline or brain cells. You want to feel good about the choices you're making starting right now -- not tomorrow morning, when you're hungover and making resolutions, or trying to broker a deal with God if he'll only take away your heartache.

Look, we applaud you for getting out of the house. In fact, getting out of the house is one of the best steps you can take. Go out with your friends. Put yourself in the driver's seat and start moving on with your life. Just try to be smart about it. Trying to soothe yourself during tough times is natural, and we encourage that. However, self-destructive behavior masked as soothing yourself is what we want to steer you away from. Look, we're no saints. We've made bad decisions along the torturous road of breakups (that's why we feel suitably equipped to write this book), but we've learned that the momentary lapse of pain that occurs when you've dulled your senses with Cosmopolitans or overloaded them with kisses from that not-so-attractive stranger in the bar is just that . . . MOMENTARY. It's fleeting and ultimately keeps you stuck in the pain longer. Every morning after, the sting of the breakup will come flooding back in and drag you back into the pits of despair. Only now, coupled with your grief you'll most likely have regret: regret over all those carbs and fat calories you consumed, regret over sleeping with your best friend's boyfriend, regret over the packs of cigarettes and vodka tonics that make climbing the stairs an impossible chore.

Drinking, eating, shopping, revenge, rebound sex, drugs, or whatever your poison may be will numb the pain -- but that's all. People by nature are very afraid to feel pain. But often the thought of pain is actually worse than the pain itself. It's never as bad as you think it's going to be. And you can't get over the heartbreak until you let yourself feel it. Sorry, Charlie, but that's the fact. It's like any grieving process -- if you bury the pain deep down it will stay with you indefinitely, but if you open yourself to it, experience it, and deal with it head-on, you'll find it begins to move on after a while. Putting down that pint of ice cream may not FEEL like the right thing to do, but if you change your behavior first, your feelings will follow. A very smart doctor once told us that. The behavior sometimes has to come before the feelings, so instead of doing something falsely satisfying that you'll regret, why not try doing something that you'll hate now (like deep-conditioning your hair and going to bed early) but be proud of later.

Excerpted from It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken by Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt

I'll Say Goodbye For The Two Of Us
Posted in Love and other Disasters

Expose'

When you wake up
And find me gone tomorrow
Don’t think I meant to hurt you
I just did what we knew I had todo
And all the time we knew
The time was never right for us
Time to leave this love behind
I could never leave you --

Baby If I see you cry

Chorus

I’ll say good bye for the two of us
Tonight while you sleep
I’ll kiss you softly one last time
And say good-bye

Like I know we must
There’s just no other way
And I couldn’t bear to see your heart break
So I´ll wait till your asleep to say good-bye

Please realize
How hard it is to do this
I’m trying to make it through this
Say good-bye just as gently as I can
Please try and understand
This time just wasn’t the time for us
We knew I couldn’t stay
But that don’t make it easier to leave you
So while I can find the strength

Chorus

Before your arms embrace me
Before your kisses take me
Before your eyes can make me stay

Chorus

Like I know we must
There’s just no other way
And I couldn’t bear to see your heart break
So I´ll wait till your asleep to say good-bye

When you wake up
And find me gone tomorrow
Don’t think I meant to hurt you

Goodbye...

Into the Desert
Posted in Angel 24/7