Nothing Lasts Forever
Posted in Love and other Disasters, My OST

Maroon 5

It is so easy to see
Dysfunction between you and me
We must free up these tired souls
Before the sadness kills us both

I tried and tried to let you know
I love you but I'm letting go
It may not last but I don't know
Just don't know

If you don't know
Then you can't care
And you show up
But you're not there
But I'm waiting
And you want to
Still afraid that I will desert you

Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way

A bed that's warm with memories
Can heal us temporarily
The misbehaving only makes
The ditch between us so damn deep

Built a wall around my heart
I’ll never let it fall apart
But strangely I wish secretly
It would fall down while I'm asleep

If you don't know
Then you can't care
And you show up
But you're not there
But I'm waiting
And you want to
Still afraid that I will desert you, babe

Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way

Tough we have not hit the ground
It doesn't mean we're not still falling,
Oh I want so bad to pick you up
But you're still too reluctant to accept my help
What a shame, I hope you find somewhere to place the blame
But until then the fact remains

Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes you so hard to stay
Nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way

Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way...

*Just had to post this as an entry. Maybe because of the date, or the full moon last Saturday...Indulge me, please.

None The Wiser
Posted in Love and other Disasters

I found my old multiply site from two years back...and reading through the entries, I think I had more wisdom back then. 

Scary thought really, because I think I am in the exact same position I was in 2005. Gluing back the pieces of my heart and trying to find some semblance of order in life. And honestly, I think I did a better job at that time!

Hmm, hmmm.  This may cause me yet another sleepless night. More pondering and introspection...what on earth could I possibly be doing wrong? Am I that poor a judge of character? or do i just never learn?

A friend told me the other day that  I worry too much...and I almost believed him!

I HUGGED LIFE TODAY
Posted in Angel 24/7

By Bob Perks

It was time to break free. I needed to run away and this seasonal change here in Pennsylvania, offered the best place to go. It's time for the Bloomsburg Fair. I don't know if you can call it running away since it is only an hour away from my home. But once I cross through the gate and enter the fair grounds; I cross over into another world.

The loudspeaker offers background music barely audible over the sounds of people talking, carnival game hucksters and food venders vying for your attention. I belong here. I don't know if I have it in my blood or not, but I always wanted to have a small food stand and travel in my off season from fair to fair selling goodies.

Perhaps one day. It certainly isn't a priority in my life. Perhaps it should be.

After I'm there a while I need to get away to a quiet spot on the fairgrounds. Most of the time I can find that any where the farm animals are kept. They need the quiet. Milk production goes down in the dairy barns I am told if there is too much ruckus. So I go there to find peace with the cows, goats, horses, pigs and yes, the turkeys. Some would think I would be very much at home with the turkeys. You'd think being this close to Thanksgiving  they'd be a little on edge, but they are not.

It was in the dairy barn where I found my oasis this time. I so admire the young folks who tend to farm animals. I think they have a greater appreciation for life. They participate in it firsthand. I've watched a young boy help bring a calf into the world and I have seen a young girl walk her prize cow through the line of animals for sale, knowing that her job is done and it's time for it to leave home. It must be difficult.

My favorite scene is to come across a young person lying in the hay asleep among the cows that have settled down for a rest. There, with their heads nestled in a small soft spot along side their favorite cow, I have seen them in a much deserved sleep. Perhaps better at rest there than in their own bed.

I had the pleasure of speaking with a young teenage farm girl at rest today."You look so comfortable" I said to her."Oh I am" she said. "Life makes it comfortable for me."

"You mean being a farm girl?" "No, Life! That's the name of my cow," she said smiling as she stroked the cow's side.

"I thought they called cows 'Betsy' and 'Elsie.' Why did you call her 'Life'?" "I discovered life again here. It was the only sensible name that came to mind, " she said. "I had been raised in the big city and really hated it. Then we moved to the country. Kinda running away from it all. I think my parents called it a mid-life crisis" she said laughing.

"Boy, I can relate to that. I've been in one since birth,I said.

"It was on the farm that I learned to love life again. I was there when Life' was born. It was so exciting. My whole outlook on the world changed. So I named her 'Life.' Now I can say I really love 'Life,'"she said.

"How incredible. You know I write stories and I am always trying to get people to embrace life. To wake up each day expecting the best from it. But they all too often go to bed with so much bad stuff in their soul and on their mind that they wake up miserable and expect it to only get worse from there. All too often it does, just because that's all they choose to see in that otherwise perfectly beautiful day,"  I told her.

"That's too bad. They need to see a cow born, a chicken hatch. I guess they need to wake up early and hug Life!", she said laughing.

"When was the last time you hugged Life?"; she asked me.

"I am sorry to say even I have had trouble doing that lately" I said.

"Come here" she said. Then standing up and stepping aside she said "Go ahead...hug Life!" I paused for a moment and dropping all thoughts of looking silly, I did. I hugged a cow.

I hugged life today, did you?

Differential Diagnosis: refreshed

Refusing to look at the donut hole...
Posted in Angel 24/7

I can't pin down the exact details...but I'm sure there's a legend, a fable, or a myth that ends this way: the villain is defeated once the townspeople turn their backs and choose to forget him or her.

Seems to be the lesson that the universe is hammering onto me. It took me a good long time to realize that certain things and people only have as much power over me as I let them have.

Regardless of whether the feelings are anger, fear, resentment, or loneliness...mere acknowledgment permits them to take  hold of me and control me.  Again, I realized that I am as responsible for my personal misery as I am for my own happiness.

So, this morning I woke up and chose to embrace life.

This new found conviction spawned from reading past blog entries in my old multiply account. The circumstances in my life then were pretty much the same as the ones I have now, albeit in lighter shades. But somehow I seemed to have dealt with them in a calmer and more wisdom-steeped manner.

Rummaging through cupboards and drawers, I reflected on the last two years of my life and concluded that I didn't fare too shabbily after all.  True, there were hairpin turns and flat-out stupid decisions I had made, (the most recent of which I truly deserved a roundhouse kick in the arse for), but my overall opinion was that this time around, I stayed long enough to learn from these challenges and trials.

In the past, it was fairly easy for me to say "let go" or "isolate" or "block off completely". It worked of course, and given my pigheadedness, I stood by whatever decision I made with a stiff upper lip.  I was an expert at slamming doors shut...which is probably why I always ended up chasing my tail.

However, this time it was very different.  It was a humbling experience being  trapped in the belly of the whale. I was forced to admit my weaknesses, own up to my shortcomings and come to terms with myself.

After that I evaluated everything my life stood for. Seriously,  I examined it inside out and saw that I had a lovely and charming life...all things considered!

Therefore, I resolve to turn my back on undesirable thoughts and negative people and I choose to forget them with conviction!

And I do hope this silly little rhyme inspires you to embrace life too..

"As you travel down life's pathway, may this ever be your goal: Keep your eye upon the doughnut, and not upon the hole!"

She's Singing My Song...
Posted in Angel 24/7, My OST

"Lessons Learned"

by Carrie Underwood

There's some things that I regret,
Some words I wish had gone unsaid,
Some starts,
That had some bitter endings,
Been some bad times I've been through,
Damage I cannot undo,
Some things,
I wish I could do all all over again,
But it don't really matter,
Life gets that much harder,
It makes you that much stronger,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

[Chorus:]
And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.

There's mistakes that I have made,
Some chances I just threw away,
Some roads,
I never should've taken,
Been some signs I didn't see,
Hearts that I hurt needlessly,
Some wounds,
That I wish I could have one more chance to mend,
But it don't make no difference,
The past can't be rewritten,
You get the life you're given,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

[Chorus:]
And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.

And all the things that break you,
Are all the things that make you strong,
You can't change the past,
Cause it's gone,
And you just gotta move on,
Because it's all,
Lessons learned.

[Chorus:]
And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned,
Lessons learned.

**click on the video at right. It's LSS material!

Texas, Here We Come!
Posted in Angel 24/7

Left to Right...Immigration Lawyer Mehron Azahrmer, Miaw Lee, Senator Carlos Uresti, Berna, the director of Medical Center, Manila, ME! and Globe Health Resources CEO Raul Sanchez

Filed a leave of absence from work on Tuesday and Wednesday to attend to the preparations for this special event--The Allied Medical Professions Career Orientation at the Pearl, Manila.

We had about 1,500 guests composed of students, nurses, dentists, xray technologists, teachers and department heads from all over Manila. It was a show put together for the benefit of our guests from Texas and the board of directors of Globe Health headed by Mr. Sanchez.

During the event, I half-kidded him about his promise to take Berna, Lee Ann and I to the Globe Health Central Office in Texas this December.  Genuinely impressed, I think I didn't leave him any other choice but to say yes.

Texas, here we come. Heee--hawww!

Soulmate
Posted in Love and other Disasters

by: Natasha Bedingfield

Incompatible, it don't matter though
'cos someone's bound to hear my cry
Speak out if you do
You're not easy to find

Is it possible Mr. Loveable
Is already in my life?
Right in front of me
Or maybe you're in disguise

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

Here we are again, circles never end
How do I find the perfect fit
There's enough for everyone
But I'm still waiting in line

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

If there's a soulmate for everyone

Most relationships seem so transitory
They're all good but not the permanent one

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone
If there's a soulmate for everyone

~First heard this song Wednesday last week. I was in a cab on my way to the Pearl...it was so piercing that it disturbed my fervent prayers for the event's success.

It's not a lament, nor a complaint--sounds like a sincere question from someone who's gone through the revolving door and wants to be still for a change. Hmm, sounds a like lot me. But like i keep telling ate Me-Ann, even if the tulip guy shows up at my doorstep now, I'm just not ready.

On the question of soulmates,  I've known two years ago who mine was...and yes, he does know how to love without being told. 

Thank you for telling me again today. Te Amo.